Gentleman Gigi Loses It

Juventus goalie Buffon explains to referee Oliver that he does not agree with the last-minute penalty kick awarded to Real Madrid that might end his team's fantastic fight-back (Photo:  Getty Images)

My beloved L impressed me the other night when she mentioned that she had heard about a great football match that Roma had recently won. I asked her if she had also heard about the dramatic end to the Juventus - Real Madrid tie and she had not. Of course, I had to tell her all about it!

Whether or not you are a tifoso, the sheer drama of that evening was utterly intense. For a full match report, here is something from the Guardian. Suffice it to say that Juve were 0-3 down from the first leg in Italy. They came to the Bernabeu, surrounded by Madridniks, and against all odds fought back to level the aggregate score at 3-3. In the 3rd minute of added time, with the game seconds away from the extension of 30 minutes extra-time, the referee gave a penalty kick to Real. Of course, if they were to score, the game would end immediately, and Juve's fightback would be for nothing. 

L tells me that Gianluigi Buffon, one of the greatest goalkeepers ever to play the game, and coming to the end of an illustrious and successful career, also has the reputation of being a gentleman. She was shocked to hear how he responded in this moment of disaster.

In that moment, Gigi Buffon lost it. I don't think we know exactly what he said. Afterwards he apparently said that he meant every word. Huffpo published quotes including:

"Cosa ho detto all'arbitro? Avrei potuto dirgli qualsiasi cosa ma lui doveva avere la sensibilità per capire il disastro che stava facendo. Se non hai quella sensibilità devi stare in tribuna a mangiare le patatine e mandi qualcun altro perché significa che non riesci ad arbitrare queste gare. Uno che si comporta così, al posto del cuore, lo ripeto, ha un bidone dell'immondizia, perché è troppo eclatante."

With my limited Italian I understand this as not sharing the actual words he used at the time. Buffon basically says that if the ref doesn't have the sensitivity to get what a terrible thing he is doing, he shouldn't be a ref, and should go sit in the stand and eat some chips! Then comes the quote that has already become a meme throughout Italy - the referee has a dustbin instead of a heart!

So, Buffon was sent off, and thus denied his team their best chance of responding to the penalty. Juve had to bring on poor old Wojciech Szczesny to face Cristiano Ronaldo, the scorer of 40 goals in 37 appearances this season so far. Ronaldo buries the penalty. Real Madrid win. 

This is already so last week. Except today L, armed with her new calcio knowledge, greatly enjoyed the latest Snoopy cartoon:

Why would anyone leave the crusts on pizza? Surely they have a dustbin instead of a heart?!

If you find any other examples of this meme, do let me know, and I will link to them. I may also need to send them to the idiots who sent vile & angry texts to the referee's wife. For crying out loud!

Update - here are some Twitter examples of the meme (#BuffonDiceCose):

When Harry Met Sally
Oliver gets some chips
(my favourite so far) Buffonic version of Jane Austen
& finally:

a sweet cartoon of Gigi's mama taking him home after the game

Baseless Hatred

Sinat Chinam, or baseless hatred, is the reason that the rabbis in the Talmud give us for the destruction of the Second Temple in 70 CE (Yoma 9b). That is, people within our community hated each other for no good reason and behaved badly towards each other. Earlier this week, many Jews observed the fast day of Tisha B'Av. This is the historical date of the destruction of the Second Temple, the First Temple and many other calamities throughout Jewish history. They mourn for what has been lost. Other Jews who may not feel the need to mourn the Temple life still take this time as an opportunity to consider the way we treat each other, and the other in our lives. We note with regret the mistakes we have made, and resolve to improve ourselves in the days to come.  It is thus all the more distressing to look back on the events of the most recent Rosh Chodesh celebrations at the Kotel in Jerusalem. The Haredi community flexed its muscles to try and prevent the monthly service led by Women of the Wall. Noa Kligfield, an 11-year-old girl from Los Angeles who was present that day, describes her experience eloquently:

"Charedi leaders bussed in more than 7,000 yeshiva girls my age and filled up the Kotel plaza to ensure that there was no room for us to pray. Jeering and yelling, blowing whistles and making faces, calling us Nazis and throwing eggs, with their eyes full of such hatred, it terrified me. These girls didn't even know me, yet they despised me. They had been brought up to loathe all of the women I was praying with, and it was somehow deemed a positive learning experience for them to protest against us."

You may read the rest of her report here.

It seems so clear to me that working out how to share time and space with those who do things differently to us is hopefully a path away from all this hatred. At the same time I know that it takes energy and focus that I am not always willing to share. My excuses seem valid - I'm too tired, I have other priorities, it's a hopeless task. So I talk about how depressing it all is, but still do nothing. Then today I read a drash by  Rabbi Dovid Rosenfeld. He writes:

"... dislike of others - whether acute or subtle - is an enormously self-satisfying way to live. Nothing forces me to grow, to change, to come out of my own little shell - and that is just the way I want it"
(You can find the rest of it here.)

I thought - ok,  if I give up trying, then at least I should acknowledge that it is because of my own wishes and feelings and ego. Change is so bloody hard as well as scary. It's much easier to cope with current issues than to muddy the waters and have to deal with unknown challenges. As R. Rosenfeld says, if I blame others for the wrongs of the world, it's about my comfort level and nothing else. I'm saying it's their fault and their responsibility. That's an easy way out, free from guilt!

In fact, it's not so easy, because if I continue to be honest with myself, I am quite miserable. It's not just the constant stream of terrible news from the world out there - the travesty of justice for Trayvon Martin, Indian children dying from tainted free school dinners, the famous and infamous struck down by disease and addiction. There are currently too many people that I'm mad at, too many people I think have hurt me, too many people I know I have not treated well. There's no hatred yet, but if I don't sort things out, I can see how our anger could head in such a direction.

So what can I do? It's pretty simple, really. I need to get offline and start talking to these people. Maybe we can fix things, maybe not. Time to have a go. L'hitraot.