Apricot Stone

Definitely my favourite song from tonight's Eurovision Song Contest - Armenia's glorification of its national fruit: "Apricot Stone", complete with giant apricot stone on set. Utterly Eurovisional, unlike the winning song by Germany, which was already a recording hit across Europe before the show. O well ...

Piglet St James

On the way to the Athenaeum Club the other day for a book launch, we noticed the guards were taking a break, so Piglet stepped into the breach for a moment or two

Chants of the Season

As the domestic season finally winds to a close (well done Ian Holloway and Blackpool!), Chris Charles via the BBC website gives us a selection of chants from the terraces. This is my selection from his selection:

"We've got Novak, we've got Novaa-ak.
"Our carpets are filthy, we've got Novak."
Huddersfield Town supporters show their love for Lee Novak.

"Tun-cay, cay - Huth, Huth, Abdoulaye!"
Stoke supporters, to the tune of Too Shy by Kajagoogoo.

"We love Taboubi, We love Taboubi, We love Taboubi on a Saturday night."
After Hedi Taboubi scored for Wrexham, to the tune of T Rex's We Love To Boogie.

"Does your mummy know you're here?"
England supporters voice concern for their Egyptian counterparts at Wembley..

"We can't see you sneaking out!"
Colchester United fans to their Southampton counterparts when thick fog descended.

"He's young, he's flash, he fills the air with ash. Sigurdsson, Sigurdsson!"
Reading's tribute to their Icelandic midfielder.

"There's only one Gordon Ramsay."
Oldham fans to Delia Smith and the Norwich fans.

"Alive, alive-o-oh, Alive, alive-o-oh,
"Stephen Ireland's two grannies.
"Alive, alive-o!"
Sung at France v Ireland in Paris, to the tune of Molly Malone.
Ireland pretended first one granny, then the other was dead to excuse himself for playing for the Republic in 2007 - Ed.

"You're supposed to be a gnome!"
At the Port Vale-Lincoln match, to a rather small referee!


STADIUM ANNOUNCEMENTS

"And tonight's match referee is...oh dear God....Davy Malcolm."
From the Ballymena v Glenavon Irish Cup replay.

A Rare Beast

I took one look at this and thought: aha! A Pushmi Pullyu. Learn all about it here.

Rabbi Albert H Friedlander z"l

He would have been 83 today, as would his brother Charles. Sadly missed and happily remembered - the father of ravaj.

The Time To Vote Approaches

A great moment is approaching. Having become a citizen in January, I am finally eligible to vote. On Thursday, there will be a General Election.

I remember my first-ever vote in 1984. I listened carefully to the candidates, as I sought out their positions on the issues that were important to me. I made my choice, and my candidate suffered one of the greatest defeats in the history of American Presidential elections.

These days, it seems that the only way to make a choice is to decide what one likes the least. There aren't really any policies - despite each party telling us that they are the party for change - it is all spin. Matthew Parris wrote about this in the Times yesterday:

"Change is the last thing the British people want. They want things to carry on as they are. They are losing confidence in their politics to arrange it. That’s why they’re angry. Do you imagine change is what the Greek mob want? No, it’s change they fear.

We are in the same condition as the benighted Greeks, but not so far down the primrose path: dimly aware of the truth, scared of the truth, angry with the truth, and howling for the head of any politician who threatens to admit the truth.

The truth is simple: we’re living beyond our means. The change — if change were what we were really prepared to embrace — is simple: we will have to live within our means."
The Times 1.5.10

As he says, hard times are coming. Whoever gets the poisoned chalice will try their best, and make a lot of people very angry. So how am I supposed to choose? Thanks to the recent adoption of American-style debates, presentation and performance have suddenly become career-changing elements for our party leaders. So do I go for the guy who sweated the least? The one who had the nicest tie? Do I eliminate the one who stood there with his hand in his pocket?

I'll get back to you :-)

Amanda Seyfried

On the one hand I am far too old to be interested in a pretty little thing like Amanda Seyfried. On the other hand I am the proud older sister of a fine journalist whose interview with said actress was published by the Sunday Telegraph here.

Prisoner Piglet

My parents were great fans of the television show "The Prisoner", starring Patrick McGoohan. It has just been remade, which does not usually work for cult favourites. Above, Piglet flees from Rover - The Giant Ball of Death. Below, Patrick McGoohan is closely followed by the big white ball.