wonder of wonders

... or perhaps miracle of miracles ... those of you who actually know me, well, you may need to sit down. last tuesday 14th february, i cooked dinner for d. i made courgette (zucchini) soup, salmon with a dill/cucumber sauce, and a special dessert concoction involving bananas, raspberries & baileys/cocoa sauce (the only part that was actually not ok for south beach diet phase one!). d. admitted to me that she was really surprised. it also tasted really good. yes, i cooked dinner. not the same as making dinner - have done that for years - pasta in boiling water & sauce from jars ... pre-mixed salad from plastic bags with fat-free dressing from squeezy plastic bottles ... opening of tins and peeling off of plastic wrappers. when making dinner, there's nothing that i peeled or sliced or mixed or chopped or tasted as i went along to make sure it was coming along ok. i cooked. and we ate at the dining table, with a cloth and with napkin rings; with nice wine-glasses and candles burning.

enough already. it was a success. the problem is, of course, now that i have proven i can do it if i choose to ... i may have to do it again :-)

south beach diet day whatever

did i mention that when i cooked my first fishy food all the smoke alarms in my flat kept going off? a tribute to the miracle perhaps?

i have now lost all desire to eat anything really. however, having paid for a new glucometer and test strips, and having found out that my insurance does not cover them, i am making bloody good use of said instruments. have to keep an eye out for low blood sugar levels, and then not buy peppermint patties for recovery purposes only :-)

not to mention that i forgot to weigh myself at the beginning, mainly because i do not possess a set of scales :-)

meanwhile, all anyone can talk to me about is food. how is the diet going? i have a great recipe for fake mashed potatoes/everything soup/lobster in only 20 minutes! when my friend/cousin/babysitter/ex/fencing team-mate tried the diet s/he lost loads of weight/hated it/grew a second head. have you tried liberian goat beans - i hear they make you less gassy than cauliflower and are much prized by menopausal korean women!

*sigh* and d. wonders why i seem to be watching so many comedy dvds at the moment (little britain 2nd series, not the nine o'clock news & catherine tate) ...

south beach diet day 3

so here's the deal: after 30 odd years of being a vegetarian, although i only gave up fish about 12 years ago, my doctor says to me that my diabetes meds are maxed out and i should try the south beach diet since many of her diabetic patients have reduced their meds through doing it. but one cannot do it as a vegetarian. i just won't eat meat, but wavered a little about fish. then she gives me the choice: fish, or insulin. you'd think that this would be an easy choice. it is not an easy choice. apart from the fact that after passing for all these years, i might actually have to decide whether or not to be kosher (yes for now); there is also the guilt, the taboo, the principle, the loss of integrity. on the other hand, as my mother said - quatsch! (german for 'bollox!') fish aren't cuddly! in september, when i went home for the stone-setting, she made plaice for me my first night there, and insisted i try it. it tasted very fishy, and full of guilt & taboo. last month, when she came to visit me, i ordered salmon at every restaurant in which we ate, and a tuna melt at the diner. less guilt, but still some indigestion. gosh i do like salmon. i always have. it was one of the major reasons i decided i could be a rabbi, since in those days it was served in one form or another at every lifecycle occasion. meanwhile, i had not yet begun the diet.

this week i ran out of excuses. the fact that every single thing i love most to eat is now totally banned for 2 weeks - not naughty things, but all fruit, even healthy bread, and potatoes :-( - is utterly depressing. nevertheless, i had told so many people i was going to do it that i really had to have a go. so tuesday evening found me trolling through the supermarket, and filling my trolley with new and different things. an awful lot of green stuff, the kind i often buy a small amount of with the best intentions and then have to throw away when it goes brown and starts to become liquid. an awful lot of stuff that has to have something done to it - slicing, peeling, cooking - before it is palatable. an awful lot of ersatz stuff - i can't believe that i had to buy i can't believe it's not butter spray. i could not bear the sight of cottage cheese, but did buy my first pot of skim milk ricotta cheese. and, possibly for the first time in my life, i bought a fillet of salmon.

the next day was wednesday, and my first big test. in the afternoon, there are always piles of fresh, delicious bagels awaiting the students for snack before classes begin. i decided not to arrive until after the bagels were put away. nevertheless, it appeared that each child walking past me had hands filled with leftover halloween candy and a lollipop in each corner of its mouth. i began to practice with a batmitzvah student, and became convinced that someone was frying latkes in the synagogue kitchen. o dear - an olfactory hallucination. after class i ran home and inhaled the latest of several giant bowls of salad liberally drizzled with carb solutions dressing. i then returned for a committee meeting, and someone brought snacks: leftover halloween candy and cheese puffs and a bottle of wine. i am very grumpy.

today, it just seemed easier not to eat at all (except for a glass of skimmed milk in the morning to persuade my body it was being fed so it didn't lock down into starvation mode). and then ... all ye who know and love me please sit down and do not faint ... for dinner tonight i made myself broiled salmon with sauteed spinach and garlic. and there is salmon left for shabbat dinner tomorrow!

the only problem is the amount of washing-up i have to do. later ...