Thursday, April 12, 2007

a a gill in tasmania

i don't know what is up with blogger - for several days or a single day it will not let me post, and then there is a sudden window like this. anyway, reading last weekend's sunday times magazine, i came upon the following fascinating facts gill has to tell us about tasmania:

1. the genitalia of possums are upside-down
"We are driving out to the tip of the northwest coast, and on the way we've picked up a possum. We pull off the road and tie it to the back of the truck like a bunch of good ol' Mississippi boys on a Saturday night. It lies spread-eagled in the dirt. I stare at it, as something's odd, something I can't quite work out. "So you've noticed," says our guide. "Possums have their tackle on upside down." And damn me if he isnt's right. The little critter's got his very neat matt-black meat and two veg sewn on back to front. Now, whatever induced evolution to think that having your testicles upfront was a comfortable idea?"

2. 'tassie' is a euphemism
"... the Dutchman Abel Tasman ... gave us the first map of Tassie. Ever since, "map of Tassie" has been the universal Australian euphemism for a lady's front-bottom area. Its outline resembles a charmingly old-fashioned hirsute pudendum."

3. wombat poo is square
"It was up here that I discovered the odd truth about wombat dung. No creature has grown so snugly into its name as the wombat, and they have this remarkable poo. It's square. Wombats lay organic dice - they have special bones in their backsides for squeezing and shaping and slicing. The reason for the cubic turd is that wombats like to mark their territory neatly, and they lay their personal Lego as high as possible on logs and rocks so that it doesn't get lost in the grass, and they've made it square so that it won't roll off. Nanny nature thinks of absolutely everything."

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