I am sooooo procrastinating. In that mode, I have found some Homer Simpson quotes on the BBC website and feel the need to share them:
• [Reading computer manual] "To start, press any key. Where's the 'Any' key?"
• "I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life.
Number 1: Cover for me.
Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss!
Number 3: It was like that when I got here."
• "Pffft, English. Who needs that? I'm never going to England."
• Homer: "Well, he's got all the money in the world, but there's one thing he can't buy."
Marge: "What's that?"
Homer: [thinks] "A dinosaur."