Moving On 2 - Last Suppers

So you have successfully cleared your cupboards and your fridge, donating as much as possible, and trying not to imagine how many families would be fed for a week by the 3/4-filled jar of red lentils you just poured into the bin. You're leaving in less than 48 hours, and do not have time to find someone to take 2 half-used packets of Basmati rice, a jar of Mrs Elswood sweet sliced pickles and a bottle of Paul Newman's honey-mustard salad dressing. It is nearly 3 pm, and you have to eat something. Time to go to the supermarket (and deposit the unopened food items with ok sell-by dates in their donation bin).

Here's the thing - what may a vegetarian without a working oven, or any pots or pans, or dishes or plates, and who packed the kettle already - what might such a person bring home for lunch and dinner?

And don't forget the lack of cutlery, or drinking utensils.

I came home with some Tyrrell's sweet chilli crisps (only £1), a plastic pot of tomato and wheatberry soup, an innocent strawberry smoothie, a roll of tall bin bags, a few avocado sushi and - the piece de resistance - vegetarian spring rolls!

Note to self:  there were no sachets of sauce included - WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? Well, possibly that the sweet chilli crisps would ameliorate both the lack of sweet chilli sauce and the crunchiness of a fresh spring roll. You were wrong.

Another note to self:  Modenese-Chinese fusion is not well-represented by using precious artisanal balsamico as a substitute for soy sauce.

I weep for my carbon footprint today. Now, back to the final phase of packing - the suitcases!

Moving On 1

Some boxes in the garage

Boxes. Cardboard boxes. Cardboard boxes with all the flaps still present, rather than ripped off in haste by whoever had to stock the shelves. I decided to go with wine boxes, the ones that held 6 bottles. I figured that even when they were stuffed with the heaviest books, if necessary I would still be able to carry them.

The guys in the Majestic Wine shop keep a wall of empty boxes ten or so high to use instead of shopping bags for customers. When the wall was at least 6 boxes high, once a day they would let me take as many as I could carry. That would be 7. After a few days of this, someone asked me if I actually even liked wine. I explained that I am kind of allergic to alcohol (true - albeit mildly. It makes me feel like fire ants are crawling across my scalp. The ants are ambling, rather than fighting. Still, it's not very pleasant. The same thing happens to me with chilli).  I didn't mention that I mostly drink Palwins Number 10. Say no more. It took me several days to dare to ask the grumpy one if I could use one of their shopping trolleys instead of my hands. 

Actually, people can be so lovely. As I tried to push a laden supermarket trolley of vari-sized boxes over the cattle grid leading to the main road, the security guard forbade me. "The trolleys do not leave the car park!" After explaining my situation, promising to return it within 30 minutes and a bit of a chat to find out more about him, M. let me go. Upon my return, S. in the wine & beer section said if I came back the next day, he'd flatten and save me a few more. Over the next 3 days I got c. 75 boxes from this lovely man. And, as I plodded up and down Ballards Lane, trying to control a trolley that clearly had vertigo, various people offered me more containers, or names of people to ask for in other supermarkets. And all this during the worst of the heatwave. So so kind. Nu, I made sure to call the manager to name-check the guys who were so helpful, although I did not give details in case M. got into trouble for letting a trolley out of bounds!

The best part? Instead of the companies paying money to destroy these boxes, we were recycling. Evviva! 

So, for two weeks I was obsessed with boxes. And packing tape (the cheap kind doesn't stay stuck in the heat). And freebie newspapers with which to wrap, and stuff crevices (one day in the far future I shall unwrap a Rosenthal soup tureen and wonder who on earth Clare Balding was). So far I have packed 170+ boxes. Who knew that somebody like me would have so many books? & photographs? slides... -ves ... papers ... STUFF.

Shabbat is nearly here. Cannot wait for a bit of a rest.

Gentleman Gigi Loses It

Juventus goalie Buffon explains to referee Oliver that he does not agree with the last-minute penalty kick awarded to Real Madrid that might end his team's fantastic fight-back (Photo:  Getty Images)

My beloved L impressed me the other night when she mentioned that she had heard about a great football match that Roma had recently won. I asked her if she had also heard about the dramatic end to the Juventus - Real Madrid tie and she had not. Of course, I had to tell her all about it!

Whether or not you are a tifoso, the sheer drama of that evening was utterly intense. For a full match report, here is something from the Guardian. Suffice it to say that Juve were 0-3 down from the first leg in Italy. They came to the Bernabeu, surrounded by Madridniks, and against all odds fought back to level the aggregate score at 3-3. In the 3rd minute of added time, with the game seconds away from the extension of 30 minutes extra-time, the referee gave a penalty kick to Real. Of course, if they were to score, the game would end immediately, and Juve's fightback would be for nothing. 

L tells me that Gianluigi Buffon, one of the greatest goalkeepers ever to play the game, and coming to the end of an illustrious and successful career, also has the reputation of being a gentleman. She was shocked to hear how he responded in this moment of disaster.

In that moment, Gigi Buffon lost it. I don't think we know exactly what he said. Afterwards he apparently said that he meant every word. Huffpo published quotes including:

"Cosa ho detto all'arbitro? Avrei potuto dirgli qualsiasi cosa ma lui doveva avere la sensibilità per capire il disastro che stava facendo. Se non hai quella sensibilità devi stare in tribuna a mangiare le patatine e mandi qualcun altro perché significa che non riesci ad arbitrare queste gare. Uno che si comporta così, al posto del cuore, lo ripeto, ha un bidone dell'immondizia, perché è troppo eclatante."

With my limited Italian I understand this as not sharing the actual words he used at the time. Buffon basically says that if the ref doesn't have the sensitivity to get what a terrible thing he is doing, he shouldn't be a ref, and should go sit in the stand and eat some chips! Then comes the quote that has already become a meme throughout Italy - the referee has a dustbin instead of a heart!

So, Buffon was sent off, and thus denied his team their best chance of responding to the penalty. Juve had to bring on poor old Wojciech Szczesny to face Cristiano Ronaldo, the scorer of 40 goals in 37 appearances this season so far. Ronaldo buries the penalty. Real Madrid win. 

This is already so last week. Except today L, armed with her new calcio knowledge, greatly enjoyed the latest Snoopy cartoon:

Why would anyone leave the crusts on pizza? Surely they have a dustbin instead of a heart?!

If you find any other examples of this meme, do let me know, and I will link to them. I may also need to send them to the idiots who sent vile & angry texts to the referee's wife. For crying out loud!

Update - here are some Twitter examples of the meme (#BuffonDiceCose):

When Harry Met Sally
Oliver gets some chips
(my favourite so far) Buffonic version of Jane Austen
& finally:

a sweet cartoon of Gigi's mama taking him home after the game

John Ehle R.I.P.

John at his table in the Gloriette Cafe in the early 1980's
(Photo:  ajf)

John Ehle was an American author who was one of North Carolina's greatest writers, and considered to be a key figure in the emergence of Southern Appalachian literature as a presence in modern literature. For a couple of years in the 1980's, he and his family lived down our street. Through my youngest sister's friendship with his daughter, I did a little babysitting. John also gave me my second ever non-synagogue-related job (the first was doing the Xmas post), i.e., in those pre-computer days, typing up his handwritten draft pages for the novel on which he was working at the time. Looking at his bibliography, it seems likely that it was The Winter People, but I honestly don't remember. What I do remember was finding him regularly upstairs at the corner table in the Gloriette Cafe where he would happily spot you a hot chocolate and a good conversation. To this day I appreciate the attention and respect he gave to a teenager with literary pretensions.

I was sad to hear this week of John's death at the end of last month. Although we had not been in touch for many years, my sister is still fast friends with his daughter, so I had heard news of him now and then. His beloved wife, Rosemary, sat with my family and friends at my Ordination service, and we were also very occasionally in touch. The thing is, with both of them, no matter how long it was since last you met, they made it so easy to pick up again and once more feel connected. My thoughts and prayers are with Rosemary, Jennifer and the rest of their family at this time. May his memory be for a blessing.

Citizen Times obituary

Winston-Salem Journal obituary

The Journal shares a letter recently made public, in which Harper Lee comments on John's work, saying:

"John Ehle's meld of historical fact with ineluctable plot-weaving makes "The Land Breakers" an exciting example of masterful storytelling ... he is our foremost writer of historical fiction."

NCSSM obituary

Appreciation of John for his 70th birthday from the Greensboro News & Record in 1996

The Gloriette is no more, but the arrow points to where John was sitting in the photo above.

PS  When packing up my stuff, I found a plaster cast from a broken wrist when I was c. 23 - my only cast up to this point (poo poo poo). The first person to sign it was Rosemary, John's wife (but that's a different story). The rest of it is covered with friends and half the QPR squad. I just noticed today that John also signed it:

Bulge in the Old Onion Bag

Sometimes there's a day where, even though the sun is shining, it feels like everything's gone pear-shaped.

A Moment of Joy

On a day when there has been such very sad news (thinking of the family & friends of Lt-Col Arnaud Beltrame), and when so many friends are making their voices heard in the USA in a struggle to change policies and save lives (#marchforourlives), forgive me if I take a moment to appreciate the absolute joy expressed by a young man beginning his career (who happens to have been discovered by my favourite football team!) Congratulations to Paul Smyth, making your debut for your country today, and then scoring the winning goal!

Cat Stops Play

Adding insult to injury, the Turkish club Besiktas has not only been knocked out of the Champions League football tournament by Bayern Munich, but they've also been charged by UEFA for allowing a cat on the pitch. According to the BBC, the exact charge is "insufficient organisation". As if anyone has ever been able to herd a cat!

Meanwhile, on Twitter, the cat was voted MoTM:

That reminds me of a previous MoTM winner at Loftus Road vs Leicester City a couple of years ago:

3rd February 2019 UPDATE

Yesterday a black cat on the pitch during the Everton loss to Wolves held up play for 7 minutes. Particularly amusing was the commentator's description of the cat's movements. You may find it on this BBC page (which also remembers other similar events, including the one that originally engendered this post).

Obstreperous with E-on

Long Google search for pic expressing my current feelings. Found this. Feeling itself well expressed. Just wishing the model wasn't so blonde, so Caucasian, so young.

E-on is my current electricity company. My use of the word current is not meant as a pun (though it did raise a smirk), but rather to suggest that it may well not be my company of choice in the future. The other day there was a power cut. My meter went blank, and I couldn't tell if I had enough electricity to last through the snow. I could not get through on the phone, so I followed the advice on the website, and sent an e-mail.

Today E-on called me back. I've already lost an hour of my life dealing with their rigid protocols, ear-wormingly repetitive music on hold (for over 30 of those 60 minutes), and inefficient complaints procedure, so why should you also suffer? Suffice it to say that it might not have been so bad if, when the representative concluded with the question, "has your complaint been resolved?", I'd just said, "Yes. Thank you. Goodbye." However, being me, I had to be literal. "No," I said. Del was a bit surprised.  Apparently, if the customer says no, the protocol is to refer her/him to the Complaints Department. All I meant was that the meter hadn't been fixed yet. And, being me, I couldn't let it go. Sigh. One hour later I'm no wiser, but perhaps less inclined to be obstreperous in the future.

What has me steaming, though, is that once again I do not understand why customer service training does not seem to include this simple tool:  when you receive a call from a dissatisfied customer, the very first thing to do is to state kindly and compassionately some version of:  I'm sorry that you are unhappy. The customer hears "sorry" immediately, and in most cases this completely diffuses the situation. By saying sorry you are not laying yourself or the company open to litigation. You are not taking personal responsibility for what has happened. You ARE acknowledging that this customer has arrived at your desk because they are upset, and you ARE showing them that you would like to help them. Why is this so difficult? (Especially if you are a man in your early 20's)

Meanwhile, maybe I need to work on being a little less difficult myself. I don't know what got into me!

UPDATE: today was the day that they came to fix the meter. I was given a slot from 8 am to noon. At a quarter past noon, the chap showed up. He couldn't find the fuse, and the building manager had to come over. The fuses weren't marked, so an E-on guy with a machine had to come over. He was in Bedford. He had to go somewhere else to get the machine. When he arrived, he needed batteries for his machine as "guys keep nicking mine".  He changed the meter and the job was completed just before 5 pm.

Sir Roger Bannister R.I.P.

Rabbi Dr Albert H Friedlander & Sir Roger Bannister

This afternoon we heard the news that Sir Roger Bannister has died at the age of 88. Although he is best known for being the first runner to break the barrier of 4 minutes for running the mile, as I read through the obituaries and testimonials, it is clear that running was more his avocation, and medicine his vocation. Perhaps, therefore, it was all the more so thrilling for Albert to meet him and have a good conversation together.

bottom left: "Friedlander, miler"

It is a gene that lies most dormant in me, but my father both loved running and had some ability. I understand that he turned down an athletic scholarship to LSU in order to attend the University of Chicago. He could run the mile in about 4 & 1/2 minutes in the early 1940's, and his coach thought he might have a chance in the 1948 Olympics. However, his mother would have none of that (he needed to concentrate on his studies) and over the summer managed to fatten him up enough to thwart this plan!

But today is about Sir Roger, so I will conclude by stating how much Albert admired him as an athlete, and as a mensch. With condolences to his loved ones, may he rest in peace.

running with his children in the park

Appreciation from the BBC website including video of the record-breaking run, and an archival interview.

NY Times obit (behind a paywall but a few free articles available)

Daily Mirror (including several tributes & tweets)

Financial Times obit

The Guardian obit

Runners World obit (annoying pop-up ads)

Bath Chronicle (former Bath schoolboy)

Huffington Post

A Sheldon Moment

"The Reform Rabbi", R B Kitaj

Listening to the Robert Elms show this morning, there was a discussion of an upcoming exhibition at the Tate Britain:  All Too Human:  Bacon, Freud and a century of painting life. They mentioned R B Kitaj, and Robert spoke about Jewish painters and how he lives near Frank Auerbach. I felt compelled to shoot off an e-mail about Kitaj also being Jewish and how he painted my dad, and Robert read it (https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p05wjttl   starting at 52:18 - can be listened to until the end of March). 

It was kind of cool to hear Robert Elms say I am a friend of his, although I did immediately remember in TBBT when Sheldon meets Professor Proton (c. 1:15 in):

"a friend would've told me about the elevator!"

If At First You Don't Succeed ...

My old AWFC favourite Jordan Nobbs sends in a header near the end of the recent FA Cup game vs Millwall Lionesses. The first photo shows the looks of anticipation on the faces of the attacking team, and the looks of trepidation on the defenders' faces. The second photo shows Jordan's disappointment as the ball misses the goal, and the release of tension for the defence.

This past weekend my beloved QPR had a terrible time vs Nottingham Forest. I was all the more dismayed as it was the first match ever attended by my beloved LL. We lost 2-5 in possibly the worst performance of the season. After the game, as LL consoled me, I reminded myself that this was only one game, and there would be another, and thus another chance. It's one of the best things about a sporting competition - that there will be another encounter, another opportunity.

Sometimes it doesn't work out. That's no reason to quit. The old adage is, "if at first you don't succeed, try, try again." Once Jordan is back from her current injury, there will be many more headers and shots on goal. QPR play again away to Aston Villa on Saturday. And I need to pull up my socks and tackle some tasks that currently feel impossible!

Rainbow Pilgrims Online Exhibition

It is LGBTQI+ History month & I've just returned from the launch of the Rainbow Pilgrims online exhibition at the Wiener Library. Am proud to have taken part in the Roundhouse Radio workshop and to have been photographed by the talented Susanne Hakuba for the project.

Please check out the links to learn more (the workshop link takes you to my bit :-)  ) and, if you are in London next week, come to the pop-up exhibition launch!

More details may be found here.

Carter Cool

It was a lovely afternoon - a crisp chill in the air, intermittent sunshine, and a charming attempt at some hail that melted as soon as it landed on our puffa jackets. It's been a while since I've had a chance to take some football photos, and Arsenal Women, once they'd overcome the initial resistance of Yeovil Town Ladies FC, attacked in numbers that gave me a gentle refresher course in timing and focus. Danielle Carter kindly scored the first goal at a great angle for my little camera (see above). However, although her team-mates were rather pleased about this, she made nary a gesture of celebration (see below).

I have previous photographic evidence that Dan Carter will at least point to the sky with one finger in the traditional celebratory pose, but today she did not. It was disappointing from a camera point of view. Nevertheless, I set off home at the end of a 4-0 victory for AWFC in excellent spirits and looking forward to seeing what I'd got in my camera.

On the way back, I was checking social media, and read the sad news that an inspirational colleague has entered hospice care. Some years ago, she had survived a terrible car crash, and defied all prognoses, fighting her way back to life and work. She is someone who has changed the world in which she lives, and we celebrate her leadership and achievements. It is hard to accept that this time she probably will not defy her doctors' predictions. Now when I look again at Dan Carter after scoring her goal, I'm not quite sure why, but I'm glad she's not jumping for joy. 

UK Shopping Advice Needed: Underwear for Men

UK shopping advice needed for mens underwear:

Someone I know who is helping homeless men in Central London has suggested that I may provide some underwear. (Not a subject about which I know much.) Am looking to find the best balance between expense and ethical sourcing. Happy to support local, independent and artisanal suppliers. All suggestions received with gratitude!

Rabbi Streep

The rabbi from the Bronx Home for the Aged gives a eulogy in Angels in America (I used to do Shabbat services for the Jewish Home for the Aged in the Bronx, and they were my first High Holiday pulpit during rabbi school!). This is taken from a 2003 TV performance of Tony Kushner's work - I have the DVD but somehow never watched it. Thus I was pleasantly surprised by an online article I read today once again demonstrating the magnificent versatility of Meryl Streep.

Ursula K Le Guin R.I.P.

Ursula K Le Guin has died. One of my all-time favourite writers, and shaper of my teenage political conscience through her novel "The Dispossessed", I also loved her novels about a young man who discovers he is a wizard and goes to wizard school!

My condolences to her family and friends.

NY Times obituary
BBC obituary
The Guardian obit
Remembering UKLG at Wired
David Mitchell on Earthsea in the Guardian in 2015
Her website

& finally, what Neil Gaiman tweeted:

Neil Gaiman
(@neilhimself)

I just learned that Ursula K. Le Guin has died. Her words are always with us. Some of them are written on my soul. I miss her as a glorious funny prickly person, & I miss her as the deepest and smartest of the writers, too. Still honoured I got to do this:  vimeo.com/112654091

A Deed of Lovingkindness

Monday is Mitzvah Night. I didn't realise it, but that is what it is. Just now in Fitzrovia, I met two young men, handing out food, socks, hats and pants to homeless men on the pavement this cold Monday night. 

I asked if I could help, and they invited me to join them for the next couple of hours. I couldn't tonight, but they said they'd be back next Monday, starting by the Tesco around 8:30 pm. They are not from an organisation, just two lads from Chesham quietly doing good deeds. They wouldn't take any money from me to help buy stuff. They said they would be happy to accept socks, hats and pants. 

O yes, if I had to, I think I might guess that they are Muslims. I mention that because the headlines on an evening paper I saw earlier were about the trial of the Finsbury Park Mosque attacker and his evil and irrational hatred. I hope I can find the guys again next Monday so I may give them some socks and hats and pants.

Fantastic News from Sydney, Australia

In 2000, the GLBTIQ Jews of Australia decided to come out as Jews. They planned to march at Mardi Gras in a group for the first time as Dayenu. It wasn't possible in those days for local rabbis to give public support to the group, and somehow I ended up being flown in from Virginia to pray and teach and march with this group. It was one of the great moments of my life so far. Eighteen years later, in the year Twenty-Chai, I'm thrilled to see that Emanuel Synagogue in Sydney has made history when two women stood under a chuppah in the shule to celebrate a legal, Jewish same-sex wedding, the first in Australia. Mazeltov to you all!

Here is the AJN article with more details.

Update:  the ceremony referred to here was a renewal of vows following a legal marriage in the United States twenty years previously. The first official marriage is scheduled to take place at Emanuel on 2nd May. More details here.

From Selma to Montgomery with Dr M L King

Tonight I had a thrilling surprise. A friend texted me a copy of this photo:

I consulted the Google and discovered that this photograph had been used to illustrate an article about why Dr King wore a Hawaiian lei at Selma. Here's the article if you're interested.

The thing is, well, look on the right-hand side of the photo. There is a man in a pale hat wearing dark glasses and a lei. Just above the hat is a face, well two-thirds of a face. The glasses and the shape of the head are quite familiar to me. Literally. This is the face of Rabbi Albert H Friedlander z"l. It is the face of my father.

WOW.

I immediately forwarded the picture to my mother, who had also never seen it before. Having expressed her excitement, she and I had the same thought at the same moment: do you remember the photo in the US Holocaust museum?

A Jewish Sports Day in Berlin in 1937. Part of a face in the bottom-right corner, wearing glasses. It's Albert! It all seemed a bit Zelig to me, except that Albert was really there.

Anyway, a bit late for MLK Day in the USA, but I wanted to share this with you all.

19.1.18 Update

I did not see the movie "Selma", mostly because I was put off by advance notice via clips and photographs that Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel had been edited out of the story. I grew up with the notion that R. Heschel and Dr King were friends and the photo of them marching together at Selma symbolised that the black and Jewish communities worked together for civil rights. Here is a HuffPost article by Peter Dreier that examines this situation: "Selma's Missing Rabbi"

Breathe in, Breathe out

Shabbat shalom!

Inspired by my friend, Rabbi David Mitchell (see his Thought for the Week here), I thought I would have a go at saying something instead of just writing it. It is under 4 minutes, but still too large a file to upload directly to Blogger, so here it is via YouTube: