Teaching English: A Difficult Question

Probably the most difficult thing and also the easiest to do as a teacher when faced with a difficult question is to answer simply, "I don't know." Followed, of course, by "but I will find out and get back to you!"

Sometimes, however, I think well maybe I can figure it out as we go along. Probably not the wisest move. However, last week, that is what I did when a student asked me to explain the difference between 'almost never' and 'hardly ever'.

I had made the claim that the two phrases meant exactly the same thing. Ploni asked me why. I started futzing around with something to do with combining positives and negatives, and really should've just stopped and said that I didn't know. Or that this is how it is and we just have to accept it and move on. And then, suddenly, a diagram came to mind, and I drew it on the board. I drew the spectrum from Never to Ever (Always). The diagram is reproduced above. It seemed to work. Ploni went home happy. What do you think?

So Long and Thanks for all the Bamboo

ravaj with Yuricita & Bai Yun a while back

News travels slowly. Checking in on my PandaCam link at the San Diego Zoo I found this message from at least 6 months ago:

"In honouring the terms of our conservation loan agreement with People's Republic of China, 27-year-old Bai Yun and her son, 6-year-old Xiao Liwu, have been repatriated to their ancestral homeland. We are now working with colleagues in China to determine and redefine the future of panda conservation and research."

Loved visiting Bai Yun. Hope she's doing well back in China!

What Does it Mean to Leave Your Parents' House?

ravaj's Thought for the Week for Lech Lecha on the LJ website

In this week’s Torah portion Adonai commands Avram to leave all that he has known for an unidentified destination. The reward is fantastic – a Mesopotamian meanderer without children or purpose will become the beloved ancestor of myriad people throughout the world. Avram chooses to go forth according to Adonai’s command, and our current existence is a validation of his choice.

A literal reading of this passage seems clear, and we acknowledge the origin of the Jewish people each time we recite the Amidah prayer. But the text also raises several questions. What does it mean to leave eretz (land), moledet (birthplace) and bet av (parental house)? What do we leave behind, and towards what are we going? What choices do we have?

The Lubavitcher Rebbe had a metaphorical response to these questions. He taught that the land represents our psyche, or natural inclinations. Birthplace suggests environmental influences, e.g., the attitudes and behaviour of our parents, teachers and peers. Thus, to leave the house of our parents signifies the moment when, fully formed, we are able to use our intellect to move beyond our genetic and conditioned selves. From a traditional point of view, this may be expressed as following God’s commandments, even when they conflict with our own will and desires, thus ensuring a flourishing and abiding future for ourselves and our community.

While we may never be really free of our ego and its prejudices, we do hope to find a higher self, the essence of the Divine within that recalls the image in which we were created. If pursuing a traditionally halachic path does not suit us, how then may we find a way to follow?

Let’s begin with Adonai’s command of Lech Lecha. ‘lech’ is an imperative, in the second person singular form. ‘lecha’ may be translated as ‘by you’, ‘for you’ and ‘to you’. As the second person is already indicated in the imperative, why then is it repeated? Since not one word in the Torah is considered superfluous, what is the text trying to tell us? For ‘by you’, we might understand ‘by yourself’, i.e. that Avram and his family should go towards a fresh start.  They can leave their background behind to build a new and different life. With ‘for you’, we can see that Adonai’s offer would be a great career move for Avram. Not only would Avram’s present circumstances improve materially, but a permanent legacy would also be established. However, the majority of commentators lean towards the translation ‘to you’. 

How may we understand ‘to you’? To go ‘to yourself’ is to identify, to recognize who YOU are. You may be the son of your mother or the daughter of your father. You went to this school and that college or uni, and now you fill your days with work and laundry and family and cooking and friends and getting things done. And maybe some exercise. Or a diet. And good intentions for developing a better way of life in the future. It’s very tiring. Is it possible that the pressures of our contemporary lifestyles have pushed us out of focus? Do we know who we are, and what our purpose is? 

In order to make the most of our lives, to be fulfilling and fulfilled, we need to find that spark of Godliness within.  Yom Kippur may be recently behind us, but a thorough examination of our motivation and actions must continue. What should we mute, and to what and to whom should we listen? From what should we avert our eyes, and what should we see? What of all we hold so tightly is fluff, and what is vital?

The immediacy of Adonai’s command to us cannot be ignored. “Go! Recognise your potential. Become YOU!” If we can let go of our baggage, and make space for the voice of our own hearts, surely we shall find the energy and the incentive to go forth and take our part in tikkun olam, the healing of our inner world, and thence the repair and healing of the world we share with each other.

PS here's a translation into Italian, for those who may find it more accessible.

Step Out of Line

We love "The Marvellous Mrs Maisel". As old Gilmore Girls fans, we were delighted that Amy Sherman-Palladino recast her characters as Jewish New Yorkers in the late 1950's/early 1960's. We love these strong women. And I was blown away this morning to read a piece about Alex Borstein, aka Suzie, quoting her acceptance speech at the Emmy awards yesterday:

Just to reiterate:

"My grandmother was in line to be shot into a pit ... she turned to a guard and she said, "What happens if I step out of line?" and he said, "I don't have the heart to shoot you but somebody will." And she stepped out of line, and for that I am here and for that my children are here, so step out of line ladies, step out of line."

Wow. Kol haKavod Alex B. Mazeltov & Happy New Year!

When someone you love is suffering

Posted this week on the LJ website as the Thought for the Week, I try to express something as my sisters and I try to support our mother through the most difficult days:

When someone you love is suffering, and there seems to be little hope, what can you do? The Psalmist says, "Call upon Me in time of trouble; I will rescue you" (e.g. Psalm 50:15). Dear God, I say, please don't let her die. And she does not die. I thank God. But then the next time I pray, dear God, please don't let him die. And he dies. These are the most sincere prayers I've ever prayed, but the outcome is unreliable. Yet, in a time of utmost distress, my instinct is to ask God for help.

What does it mean to pray? I think that we grow up believing that it is like making a wish. We ask God for the things we want. As if God were a fairy GODparent, or a genie. It is the way of a child. But when things are desperate, we become very childlike. We feel utterly powerless, and cry out for a superhero or a parent to swoop down and make it all better. We don't know what to do.

One of the hardest realities to accept is that there are things that we cannot do. Scientifically, in the physical world we cannot prove that anything is impossible, it is just not possible currently. There always remains the hope that one day, someone, somewhere will figure it out. Meanwhile, we just find a working hypothesis, a quotidian path that is universally accessible. For the Jewish community, that route is the mitzvot, a set of guidelines for our relationship with the world around us, and the people we meet on our journey.

Our parasha, Ki Tetze, contains the largest number of commandments in one portion. There are 72 mitzvot (according to Rambam in Sefer HaMitzvot. Other sources say 74) listed this week, laws relating mainly to family relationships and interpersonal ethics, for example, blended families, labour laws and honest business procedures. It says almost nothing about what God will do for us, and focuses on what we humans must do in order to make the best of our lives on this earth. These laws suggest practical ways to deal with everyday situations. There are some that may not make sense, such as forbidding cloth containing wool and linen (shatnez, Deut. 22:11), or stoning a rebellious child to death (Deut. 21:21). As Progressive Jews, we consider these verses a challenge to stretch our minds and hearts in the search for a deeper meaning. We try to understand what doesn't seem relevant, we take on the tasks we believe we can achieve, and we continue along the way.

If what we can manage is in our own hands, why then do we pray? Tradition teaches that prayer is a mitzvah, although it is unclear if this is a biblical or a rabbinical injunction. Once again, it is something practical that we may do. From a rational perspective, if God exists, surely God knows what is in our hearts. So what's the point of saying it? Perhaps God knows, but do we? What have we hidden in the crevices, fearing it may overwhelm us? What do we need to reveal, if we may hope for shalom, to be whole? Surely we pray for ourselves, to release the deepest thoughts and feelings of our souls, to make them concrete, and tangible.

But I prayed that he would not die, yet he did. And now I pray again for her to live. Why am I asking you this, God? Why do I continue to pray?

In the Tanya (chapter 19), Rabbi Schneur Zalman says that faith is not something to be attained. It is part of our essence, woven into the very fabric of the soul. He teaches that faith waits only to be revealed. I've always found this difficult to understand. Today, as I pray for my loved one, I see a possibility. In those moments when desperation fills the heart, there is neither space nor energy for sophisticated thought processes. Logic and philosophy and reason have no power. Could it be, in that exact moment, that the instinct to pray is a taste of revelation?

As Moses prayed for his sister Miriam (Deut. 24:9)

El na refa na la (Num. 12:13)

so do we pray for all who need healing.
Keyn yehi ratson - May such be the Divine will.

For Aviva bat Miriam v'David.

A Visit to the Uffizi

Portrait of Giovanni de Medici by Agnolo Bronzino c. 1545. Hopefully the bird survived the sitting. This photo cannot do justice to the vivid colours, especially in contrast to the dour portraits in the rest of the room.

Last week I was given a lovely gift, L & I were invited to join an old friend in visiting the Uffizi Gallery in Florence. I've been a cultural Philistine for far too long (although I did visit the Accademia on my first trip and was surprisingly overwhelmed by the beauty of David), but it is easy to put things off when surrounded by such an abundance of art. 

After standing in a queue in order to join the queue to queue for tickets, we found out that our tickets were from an independent organisation and therefore all our queues were the wrong queues. Eventually we got in and, following a tip overheard from someone in the security area, decided to start at the top and work our way down.

I had no idea what to expect, or how I would react. This is the height of summer, the museum was full full full, with several group tours in several languages. So many people, in the heat of the day, and visiting a museum with someone for the first time (different people have different ways of going through galleries!) ... I told myself, I just want to see the Botticelli Venus with my own eyes, and some Leonardos. Anything else is a bonus. After a few collections of Xian religious art, we walked into the Botticelli room:

ravaj's-eye view from the midst of the crowd jostling for a photo (thus a bit askew)

It's such a hackneyed image and yet, when meeting her for real, there is something about this c. 535-year-old that got me. Yes, I was weepy. 

I had a good look. Then I took some pictures. Then I had another look. Then I had a fit of hypocrisy, and condemned everyone who used their moment with this, and other paintings, to take selfies, and photos of the painting. 

Actually looking with my eyes, rather than through a Smartphone, I saw things of which this photo might remind me, but doesn't actually show me:  the colours that I saw, and the emotions they provoked; or the one daisy on the robe being offered that sometimes looked part of the fabric and sometimes as alive as the petals being blown by the wind.

I should do that more often.

And also, hey, there's nothing wrong with having a bit of fun:

Medusa, o my! (thanks to Caravaggio & my beloved L)

It is possible that I had a timely reminder that seeing something through a camera lens and seeing it through the lenses of the eyes in my head are two different experiences, and sometimes I forget that a picture in my mind may be what I need rather than the apparently more permanent digital record.

Sigh.

After a couple of hours, we said goodbye to our lovely friends, who needed to go home, and left the crowds of the popular* rooms for the Uffizi Summer Exhibition:  The Colours of Judaism in Italy. While L luxuriated in the textiles, I searched for pomegranate shapes in the designs. 

We were the last to leave. What a great day. 

Thanks to Judy & Jessica.

* seated quietly amid rooms of Leonardos, Raphaels, Caravaggios, Titians, Tintorettos et al, there was one room seemingly less visited. It was full of paintings that I was introduced to by my parents, but they seemed to be less appreciated than the majestic heroes of Italian Art whose works fill the rest of the museum. It includes a couple of works by Albrecht Dürer, including the Virgin and the Pear; and this:

Adam & Eve by Lucas Cranach the Elder

Megan Rapinoe

US co-captain Megan Rapinoe salutes the crowd after scoring the first goal in the 2019 World Cup Final against the Netherlands (photographer unknown)

So the 2019 Women's World Cup winners are the USA, beating the Netherlands 2-0 in France yesterday. As an American, I should be proud, and I can certainly say that I think the best team won. My European heart, however, suffered when England lost the semifinal (VAR! Ellen White's lost goal! The penalty miss (why didn't they let Lucy Bronze blast it through the net?!)! As a WSL fan, I had a strong commitment to the Lionesses, and I felt it when they did not prevail. For the final, the large contingent of Arsenal Women in the team, and a lifelong love of Dutch football, also turned out to have a pull on my heartstrings. Whilst the US players were clearly stronger, the Dutch held on staunchly, until they were felled by the awarding of a penalty kick in the second half. Megan Rapinoe, a co-captain of the US team, stepped up, and sent Sari van Veenendaal the wrong way to score the opening goal. It broke the Dutch team. Ah well, that's football. Congratulations, commiserations, and thank you all teams involved for raising the profile of the game.

I've heard conflicting opinions regarding Megan Rapinoe. My first instinct is to celebrate her for standing up for her beliefs, e.g., protesting her National Anthem in solidarity with NFL player Colin Kaepernick's stand against racial injustice in the USA; being part of a gender-discrimination lawsuit filing for equal pay for female soccer players; she is an ambassador for ending homophobia and transphobia in sport, she supports Paralympic athletes and donates a percentage of her salary to football-related charities. She ticks a lot of boxes for me. So where's the conflict? 

Earlier this week, Marc Thiessen wrote in the New York Post:

"Rapinoe is an amazing athlete. Her heroics in the quarterfinal against France were a wonder to watch. She has every right to express displeasure with the administration. Many Americans have legitimate grievances with Trump.

But Rapinoe isn't playing for the Trump administration; she is playing for the United States. It's one thing for a professional athlete to protest the national anthem, but quite another for a member of Team USA to do it. Rapinoe is protesting the Stars and Stripes while wearing the Stars and Stripes.

That isn't OK. Representing your country is a privilege, not a right. If she really feels she can't show respect for the US flag and anthem, then she shouldn't wear the US jersey, either."

(full article here)

It is clear today that many people I know, who may agree with Rapinoe's desire for change in various areas of national life and culture, are offended by what they see as her lack of respect for a national symbol and an institution. This surprised me, and that is why I'm taking a moment to consider the situation. 

Although I am a US citizen, and was born there, I did not grow up in America. I have to admit that I really do not understand, at a visceral level, the symbolism of the flag. In fact, my religious beliefs make me wary of such an icon, since idolatry is a big no-no in the Torah. Thus, I'm not too worried about flags and anthems. 

Therefore, what does it mean to represent your country in a sporting competition? What are the responsibilities that you take on when you put on the shirt? I would hope that you would  comport yourself according to the values that your country (is supposed to) represent (s). But what if you feel that the current administration is falling short of the national values in which you believe? Are you dissing your country if you use the platform your sporting prominence has given you to shine a light on what you believe to be flaws and failings in the life of your nation? As I write these questions, I am sorry if people feel hurt by what they see as the disrespecting of a badge or a shirt or a flag or a song. But, they are symbols. If what they stand for is under threat, I am glad that they (& I) live in a country where it is possible to question and debate and express dissent. And I am proud that there are people brave enough to speak out where they see injustice. So in the end, while I hope that all involved will say their pieces without resorting to ad hominem attacks or vulgar language, I congratulate Ms Rapinoe for her stand, and wish her well.

Remembering Rabbi A Stanley Dreyfus z"l

Brooklyn 2005 with R Steve Arnold & R A Stanley Dreyfus z"l

Each year as the yahrzeit for my beloved father R Albert H Friedlander comes round, I'm reminded that, sadly, it is also the yahrzeit for my beloved teacher R A Stanley Dreyfus. 

During my years in Brooklyn, Stanley and Marianne were in loco parentis around the corner in Park Slope. As rabbinic students at HUC-JIR, we were often invited to their home for tea or Shabbat dinner,; to study, and to celebrate other holidays. We soon grew to appreciate Stanley's extensive textual knowledge. At my first Chanukah with the Dreyfus', there was a twinkle in Stanley's eye when he saw that I was the only one joining him in singing (what I thought were all) three verses of Maoz Tsur. I felt rather proud. He then gently recited all the other verses to us! 

Probably the most poignant memory for me was after my first serious relationship broke up. The Dreyfus' took me in, letting me stay in their guest room, caring for me as I licked my wounds. I remember particularly sitting with Stanley in his study, talking it all through together as I wept bitterly. He was an older gentleman, quite traditional in many ways. Could I have expected him to listen so lovingly as I spoke about an ex-girlfriend? Of course I could! I will never forget that kindness, all his kindness, all their kindness, for he and Marianne were a great team.

Much missed, by so many, for so many reasons.

Zichrono livracha.

Installation at Port Jewish Center, Manorhaven, NY

Another Season, Another Divisive Kit Choice

Here we go again - the new football season approaches, and the new kits are being revealed. My beloved QPR is known for its hoops (NOT stripes), and while there is often debate regarding the thickness of the hoops, and whether or not they all go all the way round, the first team shirt rarely departs from the classic blue and white. So what may be changed in order to force fans and parents to stump up for the latest version? 

The most subtle change is to reverse the order of the hoops. Last season, the badge was white on a blue hoop, and the sponsor on a white hoop (we'll get to the trim in a minute):

This season, they are the other way round:

This little change renders the previous shirt utterly passé, and another £47 (plus more for any names or numbers on the back) must be found. Unless you are a season ticket holder or member, who doesn't mind waiting for a flash sale, or until the end of the season when you may use your "QPR Pounds" at the Club Shop.

Then there is the collar. In the end, I suppose that one is either a crew neck, a V neck or a polo shirt style collar fan. I'm a crew neck kind of person myself.

Finally, the trim. It is usually either more blue/white, or sometimes there is a red element in there. This year, however, INNOVATION! We have "gold". For me, gold is usually suggestive of some kind of great achievement. Certainly, the fans should wear gold in honour of their unfailing loyalty no matter who is manager, owner, chairman or playing (Bosingwa!). Not sure the players have yet earned that right.

Did I say finally? I know last season many people were blown away by the idea of a fuchsia pink away shirt. Some of us hated it, and some of us loved it. I love my pink shirt. I'm wearing it right now as I type. This season, my instinctive response to the aqua blue shirt without a hint of hoop and that gold trim, writing, badge and number is, che schifo! (Italian for YUCK!) I'm not sure if it is the shirt I would wear when invited for drinks on your yacht, or if it is the shirt that your crew would be wearing as they served my drink. It doesn't feel like a professional footballers' shirt. It doesn't feel like a QPR shirt. I'm hoping that the photo doesn't show that at least there is some kind of inferred hoop or two somewhere.

Meanwhile, the club has stated that if there is a clash with the aqua, the old pink kit will be the third one. Otherwise, for 2020 Errea have recycled it with our friends in the North.

Why so sad, Grimsby man? 

Whatever, of course, it is, now & always, COYRS & RTID!

RIP Franco Zeffirelli (The Bar Mitzvah Story)

Listening to and reading the myriad obituaries here in Italy and around the world for the director Franco Zeffirelli, I'm glad to see that many of them refer to "Jesus of Nazareth" (1977) as one of his best works. This is because both my parents were part of that production. My mother, Evelyn, was part of the post-production voice talent. My father, Albert, was invited to the film set to train the young actor playing a teenage Jesus for a scene in which he would become Bar Mitzvah. This became one of our favourite stories to tell:

After first informing Signor Zeffirelli that the ceremony of becoming Bar Mitzvah only originated in the Middle Ages, and upon hearing that the scene would still be filmed, Albert set about his task, i.e., to teach a young Italian boy to say the blessings required for reading Torah. The moment came to shoot this particular scene, and Albert stood nearby as the student began his recitation of the ancient Hebrew words. The boy stumbled, and the director shouted, "CUT!" He turned furiously towards the rabbi. "But, Franco," Albert said, "every Jewish boy makes a mistake on the day of his Bar Mitzvah." "Not," replied Zeffirelli, "NOT when he is the son of God!"

Jesus of Nazareth (Wiki)
BBC online obit
Corriere della Sera obit
the Guardian obit
Independent obit
New York Times obit
La Repubblica obit
La Stampa obit
The Times obit
Washington Post obit

Gobbledegook

Sara the Cat wanted some attention yesterday, so she walked all over the laptop keyboard until she got it. Afterwards, I discovered that she had managed to type an e-mail full of gobbledegook, which almost got sent. I turned to remonstrate with her, and this is the look she gave me. Sigh.

NB what is the difference between gobbledegook and mumbo-jumbo anyway?

Rainbow Trullo

Our visit to Puglia was a tad damp, but we did get to see 3 rainbows in 2 days, and spent our first nights in a trullo.

Wayne's World Redux

Wayne Hennessey is a footballer. He was born in Bangor, Wales, and is 32 years old. He plays in goal, and has had a reasonably successful career, including 82 caps for his country. In January 2019, the above photo was posted on Instagram by one of his team-mates, Max Meyer. Max was born in Germany. To some people, Hennessey's pose in the photo might look like he was making a Nazi salute. A complaint was made and was followed by an investigation. 

Hennessey denied making a Nazi salute. According to the BBC, he said he "waved and shouted at the person taking the picture to get on with it" and "put my hand over my mouth to make the sound carry". Hennessey also submitted photos to the investigation that showed him making similar gestures during matches to attract the attention of his team-mates.

The charge was found "not proven."

Ok, whatever. Maybe they did not feel that they had enough evidence for a reprimand or punishment. The thing that I find so unpalatable is that Hennessey claimed that he had no idea what a Nazi salute was. WTF?! The panel stated, " ...when cross-examined about this Mr Hennessey displayed a very considerable - one might even say lamentable - degree of ignorance about anything to do with Hitler, Fascism and the Nazi regime."

Am I being ridiculous when I question how that could possibly be at all possible? As the Guardian wrote:

"In a development that gives hope to everyone who wishes to exist for more than three decades in a state of child-like innocence, it emerged that Mr Hennessey succeeded in becoming a fully-formed adult without becoming acquainted with the most basic details of the life and times of some moustachioed character called Adolf Hitler and his band, the Nazis. "Don't mention the war" is an instruction that appears to have been followed to a tee by everyone Mr Hennessey has ever met in his whole life."

Hopefully, at the very least, the court of public opinion will persuade Mr Hennessey to fill in this particular gap in his knowledge. Meanwhile, how many more people like him might there be out there?

BBC report
The Guardian's Fiver comment
David Squires cartoon