of all the reports, articles and posts i have read regarding the resignation of england football captain david beckham in the wake of england's elimination from the world cup, this is the one i appreciated the most:
"For a footballer to wear a sarong and pink nail varnish took courage
Notebook by Matthew Parris (The Times Online)
IT IS TOO early for the obituaries, but here’s a modest three cheers from a columnist with no interest in football. I have never met David Beckham and don’t expect to, but I admire him. Beyond his footballing, I think he has shown real moral courage as a role model. Anyone who had suggested ten years ago that there would be a natural place in our sporting pantheon for a fellow who wore a sarong, experimented with pink nail varnish and funny hairstyles, sported male jewellery and agreed to an interview with the gay lifestyle magazine, Attitude, would have been laughed to scorn. That Beckham is plainly completely heterosexual made it seem all the more eccentric to risk the inevitable sneers about being a wuss. He went on to bring his family and babies into the picture, and to be portrayed as a loving father, a New Man and a gentle man. Yet here is someone whose primary audience is football supporters; whose primary stage is that most brutally laddish of institutions, the English football match; and whose intermediaries with the wider world are a hard-bitten and unsentimental cadre: Fleet Street sports reporters.
I’m not suggesting that Beckham sees himself as a one-man mission to civilise sporting culture: he and his wife had self-interested reasons to establish a distinctive brand. But the brand he chose says something to the world — to his world in particular — about his own tolerant instincts and his openness to difference, to experiment, to beauty and to style. It took guts to present this version of himself to his natural supporters. Plenty were ready to say: “We told you so.”
But it succeeded. This tells us something about the changing face of British popular culture which Beckham has done more than reflect: he has helped to symbolise and lead."
mr. parris does not refer to the 'footballer's wives'-like scenes from beckham's personal life, when holding becks up as a role model. but then i happen to think that even famous people deserve to have their private life stay private. ok ok i do read 'people' magazine sometimes, and have a link to entertainment news on my yahoo. i am, however, naive enough to assume that most of those stories are published with the assent of those who feature in them.
meanwhile, a lot of lads have had beckham's positive example before them, and i'd love to think it will make a difference!
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
what has it got in its pocketses?
well, if you actually want to know that, the answer right now is since i am wearing girly shorts i have no back pockets and small ones in front so not very much. i vaguely remember but cannot swear to reading in a charlotte perkins gilman book that women will only truly be emancipated when they have pockets in their clothing. and that was written less than 100 years ago.
i was, however, planning to write down a list of what i have in the boot of my car. or at least some of the things ... some may be too embarrassing ...
how about this: 10 things i have in the boot of my car by ravaj
1. toilet paper
2. portable plastic fold-up captain's chair that cost $7 and has a pocket to put your cup in
3. emergency work shoes with heels and pointy toes
4. shiva bag with prayerbooks and kippot
5. ugly horrible mug that i cannot throw out because it was a gift from a congregant but i just cannot bear for it to touch my lips
6. snow brush that i bought in canada and did not get to use until i got to virginia 2 years later
7. random coat hangers (metal)
8. nottinghamshire county cricket club seat cushion (needs new duct tape)
9. batting gloves (from my 3-game career in women's softball)
10. something dark and gooey-looking in the far corner just beyond my reach
utter trivia - just right for my mood. we are not mentioning the world cup (nor the fact that each team i root for seems to go out immediately: england, brazil, germany. nevertheless arse/france must beat portugal and then i don't care any more.). poor gilad shalit is in my heart but what is going on over there is too distressing to think about tonight; as are spanish trains crashing, north korean weapons tests, space shuttles, dubya telling the troops they will continue to fight so that over 2500 deaths will not have been in vain (?????) ... too much to get my head round.
so, nu ... what's your favourite list?
i was, however, planning to write down a list of what i have in the boot of my car. or at least some of the things ... some may be too embarrassing ...
how about this: 10 things i have in the boot of my car by ravaj
1. toilet paper
2. portable plastic fold-up captain's chair that cost $7 and has a pocket to put your cup in
3. emergency work shoes with heels and pointy toes
4. shiva bag with prayerbooks and kippot
5. ugly horrible mug that i cannot throw out because it was a gift from a congregant but i just cannot bear for it to touch my lips
6. snow brush that i bought in canada and did not get to use until i got to virginia 2 years later
7. random coat hangers (metal)
8. nottinghamshire county cricket club seat cushion (needs new duct tape)
9. batting gloves (from my 3-game career in women's softball)
10. something dark and gooey-looking in the far corner just beyond my reach
utter trivia - just right for my mood. we are not mentioning the world cup (nor the fact that each team i root for seems to go out immediately: england, brazil, germany. nevertheless arse/france must beat portugal and then i don't care any more.). poor gilad shalit is in my heart but what is going on over there is too distressing to think about tonight; as are spanish trains crashing, north korean weapons tests, space shuttles, dubya telling the troops they will continue to fight so that over 2500 deaths will not have been in vain (?????) ... too much to get my head round.
so, nu ... what's your favourite list?
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
tallitot
this is just my favourite picture that i took that day.
do not like digicams ... no good for action (well, not the cheaper ones). if anyone moved then the focus went.
but i do like this picture.
do not like digicams ... no good for action (well, not the cheaper ones). if anyone moved then the focus went.
but i do like this picture.
a public private moment
after the ceremony, there was a chocolate reception. everything was made out of, or included chocolate. a wonderful idea, just right for the two of them. and my idea of hell :-(
remember - i am diabetic :-(
everybody else had an amazing time though.
remember - i am diabetic :-(
everybody else had an amazing time though.
a&a 2 wedding rings
d&i went to toronto for the wedding of my liebling a & his darling a. it was extremely exciting because it was the first legal gay wedding we had ever attended. the civil service was in the registry office, and then there was a chuppah in the sienna's back garden.
pigzilla
the wait to get to the pod at the top of the tower was 90 minutes, and we didn't really feel up to it, so we went to the shop instead. d. wanted a souvenir long-sleeved (for the cold cold plane ride) canada shirt, and i got a lovely soft royal canadian air force sweatshirt (for the cold cold future). meanwhile, piglet hung out at the top of the tower ...
just back from toronto
here are a few pictures for you to enjoy. first of all, the tourist ones that piglet shot as he returned to his old stomping ground. we begin with a visit to the cn tower on canada day.
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
reading psalms
r. steve said if you cannot sleep try reading tehillim. it just so happened that for some reason yesterday i brought home a handy paperback selection of psalms sent to me by the ny board of rabbis.
i said to steve that i didn't think a bunch of poems talking about how god would save me if i trust in him could be much help to me at the moment. steve said if one didn't work try the next.
i'd finished my free copies of go ny & the advocate. i'd read every handout and flyer that made it home with me from pride weekend. i was too tired to do sudoku and couldn't remember where to find a fresh ink cartridge for my favourite pen to do ny sunday times crosswords. i didn't want to get out of bed because there are carbs in the kitchen and it was the wrong time in every time zone to call anyone. so i just read a bit in the handy paperback. and wrote. this is what i wrote:
first up under "help when struggling with loss, depression and general woe" is psalm 27.
"when evil men assail me to devour my flesh -
it is they, my foes and my enemies, who stumble and fall."
no, this is not one for tonight - nobody has stumbled or fallen yet and i'm not in the mood just now to wait any longer.
next is psalm 42. verse 4 is promising:
"my tears have been my food day and night;
i am ever taunted with, 'where is your god?'"
but then the psalmist tells himself to:
"have hope in god;
i will yet praise him for his saving presence." (v. 6)
and i am not yet ready to stop being angry. neither is the psalmist, who asks god:
"why have you forgotten me,
why must i walk in gloom, oppressed by my enemy?" (v. 10)
but s/he has to end up with the glass half full, repeating verse 6. i decide this section is not helping my depression and inner woe. i look at the other sections - not into repentance tonight, nor joy & praise, nor yahrzeit reflections. the nearest i can get is "seeking hope and inner strength".
first option - psalm 3. i like verse 8:
"arise, o lord, deliver me, o my god
for you slap all my enemies in the face,
you break the teeth of the wicked."
i'd like to ask for that but
a. i don't think that's how it works, otherwise there would be a whole lot more spontaneous combustions and dentists
b. i am extremely conflicted between my initial emotional demand for revenge, i.e., causing pain to those who hurt me, so they will know what they have done to me and how it feels ... and my follow-up rational response that wants to preserve my sense of my integrity by not entering the fray and perpetuating the violence. my sister told me once that sometimes it just makes you feel better to be mean back. i might be able to do it, except i cannot handle the guilt!
next offering - psalm 15 - a fine description of an ideal world, which just serves to remind me how far we are from that. psalm 34, verse 12:
"come, my children, listen to me;
i will teach you what it is to fear the lord."
i wish i could believe this, i do i do i do i do i do (cue cowardly lion). on the other hand, how do i know that i have not already been offered this teaching - it's just that i cannot yet hear it?
getting fed up with all this, i resolve to try for one more. psalm 142.
"5. look at my right and see -
i have no friend;
there is nowhere i can flee,
no one cares about me
6. so i cry to you, o lord;
i say, 'you are my refuge,
all i have in the land of the living.'
7. listen to my cry, for i have been brought very low;
save me from my pursuers,
for they are too strong for me."
certainly sounds like how i feel.
last week, a student asked me if i call on god when i am in distress. i told her that, like a child, when my parents were sick i lay in bed and said aloud, "please god don't let her/him die." god's average is currently 50%.
last night steve asked me what my relationship with god was like. i told him i thought it was in a very early stage. i also said that the strength i've found in these last sleepless stressful sugar-high days had to come from somewhere and i would not necessarily argue that god would not be an explanation for that.
but i am embarrassed to say that. especially after my glbtq-pride infusion of the past few days. it it possible for me to have faith and still be a realist? is it possible for me to accept a god that, if god does intervene in human affairs, does so randomly? what role is there in my life for a god that may be with me when i despair; but does not, cannot make it better? i tell people all the time that for a child god is like a parent who *can* kiss and make it better. pediatric theology. when we grow up we realise there are many things our parents cannot fix. hopefully, we forgive them, and continue to love them. why don't we do the same for god? superman and his ilk are wishful thinking.
so what might an adult view of god look like? after the shoah, my father told me many times that god sits and weeps with us. this is what our friends do - stay with us when the pursuers are too strong for us. their love helps us get stronger. how may i learn to see god as a friend like that?
a lesbian independent catholic minister sat at our table at the gotham comedy club on saturday night (we went to see judy gold. we really needed to laugh). we saw her again at a booth at pride, and there was a sign proclaiming mychal judge as a saint. i asked about praying to saints and the minister said that one makes specific requests and the saints intercede with god on one's behalf. i didn't want to be rude and ask what happens if you don't get an answer. still, i sometimes wish i could believe that completely.
starting to get light outside - will try and sleep now.
i said to steve that i didn't think a bunch of poems talking about how god would save me if i trust in him could be much help to me at the moment. steve said if one didn't work try the next.
i'd finished my free copies of go ny & the advocate. i'd read every handout and flyer that made it home with me from pride weekend. i was too tired to do sudoku and couldn't remember where to find a fresh ink cartridge for my favourite pen to do ny sunday times crosswords. i didn't want to get out of bed because there are carbs in the kitchen and it was the wrong time in every time zone to call anyone. so i just read a bit in the handy paperback. and wrote. this is what i wrote:
first up under "help when struggling with loss, depression and general woe" is psalm 27.
"when evil men assail me to devour my flesh -
it is they, my foes and my enemies, who stumble and fall."
no, this is not one for tonight - nobody has stumbled or fallen yet and i'm not in the mood just now to wait any longer.
next is psalm 42. verse 4 is promising:
"my tears have been my food day and night;
i am ever taunted with, 'where is your god?'"
but then the psalmist tells himself to:
"have hope in god;
i will yet praise him for his saving presence." (v. 6)
and i am not yet ready to stop being angry. neither is the psalmist, who asks god:
"why have you forgotten me,
why must i walk in gloom, oppressed by my enemy?" (v. 10)
but s/he has to end up with the glass half full, repeating verse 6. i decide this section is not helping my depression and inner woe. i look at the other sections - not into repentance tonight, nor joy & praise, nor yahrzeit reflections. the nearest i can get is "seeking hope and inner strength".
first option - psalm 3. i like verse 8:
"arise, o lord, deliver me, o my god
for you slap all my enemies in the face,
you break the teeth of the wicked."
i'd like to ask for that but
a. i don't think that's how it works, otherwise there would be a whole lot more spontaneous combustions and dentists
b. i am extremely conflicted between my initial emotional demand for revenge, i.e., causing pain to those who hurt me, so they will know what they have done to me and how it feels ... and my follow-up rational response that wants to preserve my sense of my integrity by not entering the fray and perpetuating the violence. my sister told me once that sometimes it just makes you feel better to be mean back. i might be able to do it, except i cannot handle the guilt!
next offering - psalm 15 - a fine description of an ideal world, which just serves to remind me how far we are from that. psalm 34, verse 12:
"come, my children, listen to me;
i will teach you what it is to fear the lord."
i wish i could believe this, i do i do i do i do i do (cue cowardly lion). on the other hand, how do i know that i have not already been offered this teaching - it's just that i cannot yet hear it?
getting fed up with all this, i resolve to try for one more. psalm 142.
"5. look at my right and see -
i have no friend;
there is nowhere i can flee,
no one cares about me
6. so i cry to you, o lord;
i say, 'you are my refuge,
all i have in the land of the living.'
7. listen to my cry, for i have been brought very low;
save me from my pursuers,
for they are too strong for me."
certainly sounds like how i feel.
last week, a student asked me if i call on god when i am in distress. i told her that, like a child, when my parents were sick i lay in bed and said aloud, "please god don't let her/him die." god's average is currently 50%.
last night steve asked me what my relationship with god was like. i told him i thought it was in a very early stage. i also said that the strength i've found in these last sleepless stressful sugar-high days had to come from somewhere and i would not necessarily argue that god would not be an explanation for that.
but i am embarrassed to say that. especially after my glbtq-pride infusion of the past few days. it it possible for me to have faith and still be a realist? is it possible for me to accept a god that, if god does intervene in human affairs, does so randomly? what role is there in my life for a god that may be with me when i despair; but does not, cannot make it better? i tell people all the time that for a child god is like a parent who *can* kiss and make it better. pediatric theology. when we grow up we realise there are many things our parents cannot fix. hopefully, we forgive them, and continue to love them. why don't we do the same for god? superman and his ilk are wishful thinking.
so what might an adult view of god look like? after the shoah, my father told me many times that god sits and weeps with us. this is what our friends do - stay with us when the pursuers are too strong for us. their love helps us get stronger. how may i learn to see god as a friend like that?
a lesbian independent catholic minister sat at our table at the gotham comedy club on saturday night (we went to see judy gold. we really needed to laugh). we saw her again at a booth at pride, and there was a sign proclaiming mychal judge as a saint. i asked about praying to saints and the minister said that one makes specific requests and the saints intercede with god on one's behalf. i didn't want to be rude and ask what happens if you don't get an answer. still, i sometimes wish i could believe that completely.
starting to get light outside - will try and sleep now.
Thursday, June 22, 2006
feminism & heroism
just found a new site called the f word that i have added to my bloglist on the right. once again cannot sleep so composed a reply to the article the link is for. here are some snippets from the end that got me writing to them:
"For what it's worth though, I am compelled to come up with a quick show of my female idols as antidotes to FHM's Sexiest Woman list that is a product of our unavoidably gender-divided and gender-obsessed society. My own list encompasses many fields from the usual feminist suspects: musicians Tori Amos, Kate Bush, PJ Harvey and Ani DiFranco and some riot grrl pioneers, to Mariella Frostrup, Alison Goldfrapp, comedienne Margaret Cho, actresses Rachel Stirling (star of Tipping The Velvet: about as down-to-earth as you can be when your mother's Dame Diana Rigg) Miranda Richardson, Emma Fielding, Helen Grace and socialist-feminist Saffron Burrows. This is of course, a very personal and non-exhaustive list but you get the idea, and there's bound to be something for everyone in there.
Some I celebrate for their eccentricity and their expressed which to deviate from "the norm", some I celebrate because they can live out bland everyday existences whilst still maintaining a presence or charm that separates them from everyone else in their situation. The list isn't age-restricted (for God's sake, if we're going to celebrate women as a distinctive category, let's not exclude those over 25). Most importantly, it doesn't look at the scale of their impact in terms of how many column inches they occupy in magazines or how many people buy what they produce - but the scale of the impact they've had on the individuals who are touched by their work, in whatever way, however many or few that may be. Perhaps this, better than anything, answers the question: what makes a woman a heroine? I may have mellowed since my days of reading press cuttings in the bath, but it's still a question that matters to me, and probably to many young women and girls trapped in suburbia grasping for any scrap of inspiration they can get their hands on..."
responding to fhm & female heroines
not having come out to myself until i was nearly 30, i didn't quite get that my adoration of beautiful women (ingrid bergman, lauren bacall, katharine hepburn through to michelle pfeiffer, candice bergen et al) might have been a message to myself :-)
from my perspective as a teacher of religion, i believe that so many of the people with whom i have worked have an innate yearning for a hero/ine & model. since organised religion outside its most orthodox forms is rarely seen as the source of ethical behaviour - religion is blamed by so many as the cause of most of the ills in our world - there is a vacuum now where once religion stood firm. what is attempting to fill it? capitalism, materialism, consumerism - call it what you will. and its heroes are the pretty young things.
maybe i'm just an angry old bourgeois-socialist bleeding-heart liberal dyke who should return to my andrea dworkin shrine and ask my panda spirit guide for serenity. i'll try and quench my fears for michael owen's acl, and stop reading through 'people' magazine before buying it for my mother. i do, however, have hope that we can learn to be kinder and also be entertained by those with gifts for acting, etc..
meanwhile, here are some of my heroines:
my mother - for making a new life after the death of my father 2 years ago.
my father - one of my favourite feminists & g/l/b/t/q advocates
laura flanders - who, beginning in school and ever since, has sought her truth and reported it in a variety of media.
sarah waters
katherine hepburn
maya angelou, audre lord, alice walker
rabbi sheila shulman
jury still out on angelina jolie ...
honorary mention for the 1970's rodney marsh because i have always been a fanatical qpr supporter
"For what it's worth though, I am compelled to come up with a quick show of my female idols as antidotes to FHM's Sexiest Woman list that is a product of our unavoidably gender-divided and gender-obsessed society. My own list encompasses many fields from the usual feminist suspects: musicians Tori Amos, Kate Bush, PJ Harvey and Ani DiFranco and some riot grrl pioneers, to Mariella Frostrup, Alison Goldfrapp, comedienne Margaret Cho, actresses Rachel Stirling (star of Tipping The Velvet: about as down-to-earth as you can be when your mother's Dame Diana Rigg) Miranda Richardson, Emma Fielding, Helen Grace and socialist-feminist Saffron Burrows. This is of course, a very personal and non-exhaustive list but you get the idea, and there's bound to be something for everyone in there.
Some I celebrate for their eccentricity and their expressed which to deviate from "the norm", some I celebrate because they can live out bland everyday existences whilst still maintaining a presence or charm that separates them from everyone else in their situation. The list isn't age-restricted (for God's sake, if we're going to celebrate women as a distinctive category, let's not exclude those over 25). Most importantly, it doesn't look at the scale of their impact in terms of how many column inches they occupy in magazines or how many people buy what they produce - but the scale of the impact they've had on the individuals who are touched by their work, in whatever way, however many or few that may be. Perhaps this, better than anything, answers the question: what makes a woman a heroine? I may have mellowed since my days of reading press cuttings in the bath, but it's still a question that matters to me, and probably to many young women and girls trapped in suburbia grasping for any scrap of inspiration they can get their hands on..."
responding to fhm & female heroines
not having come out to myself until i was nearly 30, i didn't quite get that my adoration of beautiful women (ingrid bergman, lauren bacall, katharine hepburn through to michelle pfeiffer, candice bergen et al) might have been a message to myself :-)
from my perspective as a teacher of religion, i believe that so many of the people with whom i have worked have an innate yearning for a hero/ine & model. since organised religion outside its most orthodox forms is rarely seen as the source of ethical behaviour - religion is blamed by so many as the cause of most of the ills in our world - there is a vacuum now where once religion stood firm. what is attempting to fill it? capitalism, materialism, consumerism - call it what you will. and its heroes are the pretty young things.
maybe i'm just an angry old bourgeois-socialist bleeding-heart liberal dyke who should return to my andrea dworkin shrine and ask my panda spirit guide for serenity. i'll try and quench my fears for michael owen's acl, and stop reading through 'people' magazine before buying it for my mother. i do, however, have hope that we can learn to be kinder and also be entertained by those with gifts for acting, etc..
meanwhile, here are some of my heroines:
my mother - for making a new life after the death of my father 2 years ago.
my father - one of my favourite feminists & g/l/b/t/q advocates
laura flanders - who, beginning in school and ever since, has sought her truth and reported it in a variety of media.
sarah waters
katherine hepburn
maya angelou, audre lord, alice walker
rabbi sheila shulman
jury still out on angelina jolie ...
honorary mention for the 1970's rodney marsh because i have always been a fanatical qpr supporter
on the outside looking in
here is piglet stalking the animaniacs at the warner brothers lot in los angeles a couple of years ago.
i miss freakazoid
i miss freakazoid
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
happiness is a warm puppy part deux
just read this quote from the guardian book extracts online:
"Any society's well-being can be measured according to the gap between the aspirations of its members and their attainability. Such invidious comparisons dominate the contemporary understanding of what it is to be happy. The economist Richard Layard explores in his book Happiness what he calls "the first world paradox" of a society that delivers greater wealth than ever but is little happier. Freud believed that the two central components for a happy life were love and work. A few years ago, the psychiatrist Anthony Clare offered an interviewer a more detailed prescription for happiness: "One, cultivate a passion ... Next, be a leaf on a tree. You have to be both an individual - you have to have a sense that you are you and that you matter - and at the same time you have to be connected to a bigger organism, a family, a community ... My third rule, avoid introspection. Next, don't resist change ... And finally, live in the moment; live now.""
here is the whole piece extracted from "the story of childhood" by libby brooks
leaf on a tree, eh? a bit pantheistic, but i like it. certainly i have a sense that a lot of the distress i see in my work comes from the tension between individual and group needs. maybe i can go a bit further and say that i notice a tendency to focus on the individual with little, if any, consideration of the effect this may have on the group. o dear - getting a bit wordy again. it's back to what i was saying the other day about context. i believe i need to understand that i am part of the tree as well as a leaf on my own. the well-being of the tree is vital to my own, as is mine to the tree. hmmmmm
as for what dr. clare says about avoiding introspection ... just not even going there!
"Any society's well-being can be measured according to the gap between the aspirations of its members and their attainability. Such invidious comparisons dominate the contemporary understanding of what it is to be happy. The economist Richard Layard explores in his book Happiness what he calls "the first world paradox" of a society that delivers greater wealth than ever but is little happier. Freud believed that the two central components for a happy life were love and work. A few years ago, the psychiatrist Anthony Clare offered an interviewer a more detailed prescription for happiness: "One, cultivate a passion ... Next, be a leaf on a tree. You have to be both an individual - you have to have a sense that you are you and that you matter - and at the same time you have to be connected to a bigger organism, a family, a community ... My third rule, avoid introspection. Next, don't resist change ... And finally, live in the moment; live now.""
here is the whole piece extracted from "the story of childhood" by libby brooks
leaf on a tree, eh? a bit pantheistic, but i like it. certainly i have a sense that a lot of the distress i see in my work comes from the tension between individual and group needs. maybe i can go a bit further and say that i notice a tendency to focus on the individual with little, if any, consideration of the effect this may have on the group. o dear - getting a bit wordy again. it's back to what i was saying the other day about context. i believe i need to understand that i am part of the tree as well as a leaf on my own. the well-being of the tree is vital to my own, as is mine to the tree. hmmmmm
as for what dr. clare says about avoiding introspection ... just not even going there!
what qpr fans do in the off-season
i believe this is the same mark henderson who has had a season ticket in the loft next to my sister for a few years. interesting thing about humour ... but first, read this:
"Serious side to clowning around
by Mark Henderson
THERAPEUTIC clowning may be a way to help IVF patients.
Research at the Assaf Harofeh Medical Centre near Tel Aviv suggested that entertaining women with a clown as they recovered from IVF treatment could nearly double the chances of success.
Patients who were visited by a clown soon after embryos were transferred to the womb — one of the most stressful IVF phases — had a pregnancy rate of 35.5 per cent compared with 19.3 per cent among women on non-humour treatment.
Using a clown was the idea of Shevach Friedler, a fertility doctor, who had also done a course at the Jacques Lecoq school of mime and theatre in Paris. “I have a theatrical background from one of the best movement and mime schools in France,” Dr Friedler said. “My background is clowning and movement. I’m also a physician who works in IVF. I thought we could combine the two.
“We know that fertility patients are very stressed. Everybody knows that humour is an effective way to reduce stress.”
Clowns are sometimes used in child medicine but rarely for helping adults.
Dr Friedler recruited his friend Shlomi Algussi, a restaurant chef and clown, to help his patients. They eschewed the typical red-nosed clown and invented a new character — a chef in a striped vest — to appeal to adult women. He performs magic tricks and tells jokes on a culinary theme.
The findings were based on a study of 93 patients and 93 controls"
wish i could remember the reference, think it is talmudic, anyway ... there is a story about a man in the marketplace who sees the prophet elijah and asks him who there will go to olam ha-ba (heaven). elijah points to a couple of guys across the way. the man rushes over to them and asks them what they do for a living. they tell him that they are jesters, that they make people laugh.
if you think about it, when you laugh, your stuff/burden/cares is/are lifted from your shoulders momentarily, and you get a bit of a rest, and build up a bit more strength to deal with it all when it lands on you again. good one dr. friedler!
"Serious side to clowning around
by Mark Henderson
THERAPEUTIC clowning may be a way to help IVF patients.
Research at the Assaf Harofeh Medical Centre near Tel Aviv suggested that entertaining women with a clown as they recovered from IVF treatment could nearly double the chances of success.
Patients who were visited by a clown soon after embryos were transferred to the womb — one of the most stressful IVF phases — had a pregnancy rate of 35.5 per cent compared with 19.3 per cent among women on non-humour treatment.
Using a clown was the idea of Shevach Friedler, a fertility doctor, who had also done a course at the Jacques Lecoq school of mime and theatre in Paris. “I have a theatrical background from one of the best movement and mime schools in France,” Dr Friedler said. “My background is clowning and movement. I’m also a physician who works in IVF. I thought we could combine the two.
“We know that fertility patients are very stressed. Everybody knows that humour is an effective way to reduce stress.”
Clowns are sometimes used in child medicine but rarely for helping adults.
Dr Friedler recruited his friend Shlomi Algussi, a restaurant chef and clown, to help his patients. They eschewed the typical red-nosed clown and invented a new character — a chef in a striped vest — to appeal to adult women. He performs magic tricks and tells jokes on a culinary theme.
The findings were based on a study of 93 patients and 93 controls"
wish i could remember the reference, think it is talmudic, anyway ... there is a story about a man in the marketplace who sees the prophet elijah and asks him who there will go to olam ha-ba (heaven). elijah points to a couple of guys across the way. the man rushes over to them and asks them what they do for a living. they tell him that they are jesters, that they make people laugh.
if you think about it, when you laugh, your stuff/burden/cares is/are lifted from your shoulders momentarily, and you get a bit of a rest, and build up a bit more strength to deal with it all when it lands on you again. good one dr. friedler!
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
liberal islam?
just read andy apostolou's review of "the caged virgin" by ayaan hirsi ali. i don't know much about liberal islam ... until i met irshad manji in toronto a few years ago i did not even know there was any such thing. i am sympathetic to a lot of what she says, but suspect that not too many people who need to listen will pay attention to the words of a woman and a lesbian, noch. in the wake of recent events in canada, she wrote in the globe and mail:
"How can we muslims allow our leaders to continue blaming the world for what we're doing to ourselves? ... above all, non-muslims in canada should ask themselves a basic question: what makes so many of us afraid to ask about what's happening in the muslim community? the easy answer is multiculturalism, according to which all cultures and religions are equal and off-limits to scrutiny.
but multiculturalism, like any belief system, becomes a stale orthodoxy if taken literally. by definition, orthodoxies anesthetize our brains, deny our consciences, suppress our voices and compel us to abandon the critical spirit that keeps any open society open. this past weekend, canadians received a wake-up call. let us all re-discover our spines - and our minds."
not just multiculturalism, methinks, but being bloody scared as well :-(
"How can we muslims allow our leaders to continue blaming the world for what we're doing to ourselves? ... above all, non-muslims in canada should ask themselves a basic question: what makes so many of us afraid to ask about what's happening in the muslim community? the easy answer is multiculturalism, according to which all cultures and religions are equal and off-limits to scrutiny.
but multiculturalism, like any belief system, becomes a stale orthodoxy if taken literally. by definition, orthodoxies anesthetize our brains, deny our consciences, suppress our voices and compel us to abandon the critical spirit that keeps any open society open. this past weekend, canadians received a wake-up call. let us all re-discover our spines - and our minds."
not just multiculturalism, methinks, but being bloody scared as well :-(
Monday, June 19, 2006
tea with zeffirelli
just spoke to my mother regarding the photo of ahf in the straw hat.
a. my father hated that hat! his friend david insisted he wear it in the sun, and ahf kept 'losing' it, and david kept finding it. the hat never did make it back to england.
b. the square in which he was sitting is in the village where franco zeffirelli was filming 'tea with mussolini'. franco invited him back the next day to meet the dames, but they couldn't go, and franco never spoke to him again.
c. it was, however, a beautiful day.
a. my father hated that hat! his friend david insisted he wear it in the sun, and ahf kept 'losing' it, and david kept finding it. the hat never did make it back to england.
b. the square in which he was sitting is in the village where franco zeffirelli was filming 'tea with mussolini'. franco invited him back the next day to meet the dames, but they couldn't go, and franco never spoke to him again.
c. it was, however, a beautiful day.
Sunday, June 18, 2006
i love goalies!
without cable or any tv reception i am currently following the world cup via the internet. with the usa down to 8 outfield players and italy down to 9, kasey keller pulled off this stunning save from alessandro del piero to keep the score tied. wish i'd seen it live!
under the tuscan sun
i also love this kind of godfathery pic. ahf looks relaxed. he looks happy. we should all have days like this!
lemonade from lemons
so here is an adorable picture of ahf. he is amused, and probably rather amusing to those who are listening at this moment.
this picture makes me smile too.
happy day of the father to you all.
this picture makes me smile too.
happy day of the father to you all.
Saturday, June 17, 2006
350 years of jews in england
here is today's op-ed from the daily telegraph online. i am pasting the whole thing because i want you to read it all and because i want to remember it. the last two paragraphs are the ones that i think relate to us all.
"How Cromwell gave us Joan Collins and other luminaries
By Charles Moore
(Filed: 17/06/2006)
Exactly 350 years ago, we began to be a multi-racial society. 1656 marked the return of Jews to England. They had been driven out by an edict of Edward I in 1290. In the intervening centuries - known as the Middle Period - Jews quite often came to this country on business, but they were not permitted to reside here or practise their religion. Their status, in fact, was that of Christians (and Jews) in Saudi Arabia today. In 1656, Cromwell let 300 of them return, and Jews have been here ever since.
Among the eventual consequences of this re-admission have been Benjamin Disraeli, Ludwig Wittgenstein, Yehudi Menuhin, Peter Sellers, Joan Collins, Arthur Koestler, Alan Sugar, Nigella Lawson, Lucien Freud, Tom Stoppard and Sid James.
And why not add Max Perutz, Ali G, Ernst Chain, Jimmy Goldsmith, Miriam Rothschild, Melanie Klein, Alfred Brendel, Bernard Lewis, Emeric Pressburger, Harold Pinter, Sigmund Warburg, Keith Joseph, George Weidenfeld, Karl Popper, Ronald Harwood, Ernst Gombrich, Simon Schama, Jonathan Miller, Philip Green, Rachel Weisz and Robert Winston?
Or Isaiah Berlin, Jacob Bronowski, Rosalind Franklin, Harold Abrahams, Alexander Korda, George Solti, Denis Norden, Muriel Spark, Siegfried Sassoon, Jacob Epstein, Daniel Day-Lewis, Nigel Lawson, Janet Reger, Marjorie Proops, Sam Mendes, Stirling Moss and Bernard Levin? It is even claimed that David Beckham, if not technically a Jew, is, as the old joke has it, Jew-ish.
(And since into each life a little rain must fall, one might also note Michael Winner, Esther Rantzen, Eric Hobsbawm, Jerry Springer, Edwina Currie and Robert Maxwell on the debit side of the ledger.)
Anyone who has ever studied at a university, needed good doctors, shopped at Marks & Spencer or Tesco, benefited from scientific invention, listened to classical music, sought accountants or lawyers, watched a film, bought a book or needed his head examined, has gained from Cromwell's decision. The Jewish contribution is so great that it pervades almost all aspects of British society.
I have named individual Jews deliberately because, though it is always dangerous to generalise, even favourably, about race, it does seem to my gentile eyes that there is more prodigious ability and energy per Jew than per the rest of us. The community here has never been enormous - at present, it is somewhere between 250,000 and 400,000 - but it has achievements out of proportion to its size. I like Herbert Samuel's claim that "The Jews are the same as everybody else, only more so".
But the interesting thing for British society today is to ask why such a people have been able to overcome prejudices that at first excluded them absolutely and later accepted them only on qualified terms (Jews could not sit in Parliament until the mid-19th century, for example). The answer could be useful for everyone.
The key, perhaps, is to be found in one of the earliest reports of Jews in England after their return. On October 14, 1663, Samuel Pepys found a way of visiting a synagogue in London (something very unusual for a Gentile at that time). In his diary, he described the service which he witnessed. He did not like it ("I never… could have imagined there had been any religion in the whole world so absurdly performed as this"), but he also noted that the Jews said a special prayer for the King. In other words, they accepted the civil power.
The Jews did not do this just to save their skins by sucking up to Charles II: they did it because it was part of their religious duty. It still is. No believing Jew will obey a civil law that forces him to disobey his religious law - eat pork, for example. But if there is no conflict, his religion teaches him that he must obey the law of the land. In the Talmud, the question arises of whether you should pay taxes to a secular king. Yes, comes the answer, because "The law of the kingdom is the law". In the standard collection, called Ethics of the Fathers, which brings together rabbinical wisdom over the centuries, Jews are told: "Pray for the welfare of the government, for, without the fear of it, people will swallow one another alive."
Even the most cursory study of Jewish life shows that it is full of disputes. There are splits between orthodox and reformed Jews, and within orthodoxy. There are thousands of secular Jews who feel very Jewish, but refuse to have their Jewishness defined by religion. There is ceaseless, often angry argument: when you read the Christian Gospels, you find that one of the most common scenes is of learned men quarrelling. That is still the case in Jewish culture.
But because of this basic agreement among Jews about the status of the secular law, the effect of these quarrels on the wider society is minimal. It is significant that virtually no one reading this article will have heard of Dayan Chanoch Ehrentreu. He is the chief justice of the Beth Din, the Chief Rabbi's court which adjudicates on the endless delicate points of Jewish law, often relating to diet or Sabbath observance, which come up within the community.
If Judaism were an aggressive religion, seeking to lay down its law for all mankind, then this supremely learned old gentleman could acquire menacing power. Like the Ayatollah Khomeini in Iran after 1979, Dayan Ehrentreu could tell people to kill in the name of God. Instead, his effect is the opposite. By policing so meticulously the difference between the precise duties of Jews and the duty to society at large, this scholar helps define the space necessary for people with beliefs quite at variance with those of the majority to live harmoniously among them. In this sense, people can be "fundamentalist" and yet perfectly at home in a society which is not. For 2,000 years, Jews have developed a subtle understanding of the difference between the ideal society that would exist if God's laws prevailed everywhere and the world as it is.
Without this understanding, people do indeed "swallow one another alive" and - one might add in the era of suicide bombings - swallow themselves in the process.
With this understanding, a minority community can develop enough confidence and win enough acceptance to do good beyond the confines of itself. The Jewish concept of mitzvah, on which David Cameron dwelt when he made a speech celebrating the 350 years last week, means a good deed done for its own sake. Such deeds are visible in the importance that Jews attach to charity and to education. British society needs a lot more mitzvahs. There is also the idea of "chesed", man's kindness to all men, as first shown by Abraham when he entertained angels unawares. Thus does a potentially very closed community open itself out. The difference between majority and minority is very real - but not antagonistic.
In the past half-century, Muslims have come where the Jews came earlier, and in much larger numbers. Like such Jews, they have sometimes experienced the unhappiness that comes when one's religion is misunderstood or derided. Unlike the Jews, too many of their leaders tend to teach them that such slights must be avenged, that existence as a minority is just a temporary misfortune, not a state to be lived with, and that the law of England is virtually no law at all. If that attitude continues, society is reduced to a conflict about who will swallow whom alive. To avoid that is a huge and urgent task.
"How Cromwell gave us Joan Collins and other luminaries
By Charles Moore
(Filed: 17/06/2006)
Exactly 350 years ago, we began to be a multi-racial society. 1656 marked the return of Jews to England. They had been driven out by an edict of Edward I in 1290. In the intervening centuries - known as the Middle Period - Jews quite often came to this country on business, but they were not permitted to reside here or practise their religion. Their status, in fact, was that of Christians (and Jews) in Saudi Arabia today. In 1656, Cromwell let 300 of them return, and Jews have been here ever since.
Among the eventual consequences of this re-admission have been Benjamin Disraeli, Ludwig Wittgenstein, Yehudi Menuhin, Peter Sellers, Joan Collins, Arthur Koestler, Alan Sugar, Nigella Lawson, Lucien Freud, Tom Stoppard and Sid James.
And why not add Max Perutz, Ali G, Ernst Chain, Jimmy Goldsmith, Miriam Rothschild, Melanie Klein, Alfred Brendel, Bernard Lewis, Emeric Pressburger, Harold Pinter, Sigmund Warburg, Keith Joseph, George Weidenfeld, Karl Popper, Ronald Harwood, Ernst Gombrich, Simon Schama, Jonathan Miller, Philip Green, Rachel Weisz and Robert Winston?
Or Isaiah Berlin, Jacob Bronowski, Rosalind Franklin, Harold Abrahams, Alexander Korda, George Solti, Denis Norden, Muriel Spark, Siegfried Sassoon, Jacob Epstein, Daniel Day-Lewis, Nigel Lawson, Janet Reger, Marjorie Proops, Sam Mendes, Stirling Moss and Bernard Levin? It is even claimed that David Beckham, if not technically a Jew, is, as the old joke has it, Jew-ish.
(And since into each life a little rain must fall, one might also note Michael Winner, Esther Rantzen, Eric Hobsbawm, Jerry Springer, Edwina Currie and Robert Maxwell on the debit side of the ledger.)
Anyone who has ever studied at a university, needed good doctors, shopped at Marks & Spencer or Tesco, benefited from scientific invention, listened to classical music, sought accountants or lawyers, watched a film, bought a book or needed his head examined, has gained from Cromwell's decision. The Jewish contribution is so great that it pervades almost all aspects of British society.
I have named individual Jews deliberately because, though it is always dangerous to generalise, even favourably, about race, it does seem to my gentile eyes that there is more prodigious ability and energy per Jew than per the rest of us. The community here has never been enormous - at present, it is somewhere between 250,000 and 400,000 - but it has achievements out of proportion to its size. I like Herbert Samuel's claim that "The Jews are the same as everybody else, only more so".
But the interesting thing for British society today is to ask why such a people have been able to overcome prejudices that at first excluded them absolutely and later accepted them only on qualified terms (Jews could not sit in Parliament until the mid-19th century, for example). The answer could be useful for everyone.
The key, perhaps, is to be found in one of the earliest reports of Jews in England after their return. On October 14, 1663, Samuel Pepys found a way of visiting a synagogue in London (something very unusual for a Gentile at that time). In his diary, he described the service which he witnessed. He did not like it ("I never… could have imagined there had been any religion in the whole world so absurdly performed as this"), but he also noted that the Jews said a special prayer for the King. In other words, they accepted the civil power.
The Jews did not do this just to save their skins by sucking up to Charles II: they did it because it was part of their religious duty. It still is. No believing Jew will obey a civil law that forces him to disobey his religious law - eat pork, for example. But if there is no conflict, his religion teaches him that he must obey the law of the land. In the Talmud, the question arises of whether you should pay taxes to a secular king. Yes, comes the answer, because "The law of the kingdom is the law". In the standard collection, called Ethics of the Fathers, which brings together rabbinical wisdom over the centuries, Jews are told: "Pray for the welfare of the government, for, without the fear of it, people will swallow one another alive."
Even the most cursory study of Jewish life shows that it is full of disputes. There are splits between orthodox and reformed Jews, and within orthodoxy. There are thousands of secular Jews who feel very Jewish, but refuse to have their Jewishness defined by religion. There is ceaseless, often angry argument: when you read the Christian Gospels, you find that one of the most common scenes is of learned men quarrelling. That is still the case in Jewish culture.
But because of this basic agreement among Jews about the status of the secular law, the effect of these quarrels on the wider society is minimal. It is significant that virtually no one reading this article will have heard of Dayan Chanoch Ehrentreu. He is the chief justice of the Beth Din, the Chief Rabbi's court which adjudicates on the endless delicate points of Jewish law, often relating to diet or Sabbath observance, which come up within the community.
If Judaism were an aggressive religion, seeking to lay down its law for all mankind, then this supremely learned old gentleman could acquire menacing power. Like the Ayatollah Khomeini in Iran after 1979, Dayan Ehrentreu could tell people to kill in the name of God. Instead, his effect is the opposite. By policing so meticulously the difference between the precise duties of Jews and the duty to society at large, this scholar helps define the space necessary for people with beliefs quite at variance with those of the majority to live harmoniously among them. In this sense, people can be "fundamentalist" and yet perfectly at home in a society which is not. For 2,000 years, Jews have developed a subtle understanding of the difference between the ideal society that would exist if God's laws prevailed everywhere and the world as it is.
Without this understanding, people do indeed "swallow one another alive" and - one might add in the era of suicide bombings - swallow themselves in the process.
With this understanding, a minority community can develop enough confidence and win enough acceptance to do good beyond the confines of itself. The Jewish concept of mitzvah, on which David Cameron dwelt when he made a speech celebrating the 350 years last week, means a good deed done for its own sake. Such deeds are visible in the importance that Jews attach to charity and to education. British society needs a lot more mitzvahs. There is also the idea of "chesed", man's kindness to all men, as first shown by Abraham when he entertained angels unawares. Thus does a potentially very closed community open itself out. The difference between majority and minority is very real - but not antagonistic.
In the past half-century, Muslims have come where the Jews came earlier, and in much larger numbers. Like such Jews, they have sometimes experienced the unhappiness that comes when one's religion is misunderstood or derided. Unlike the Jews, too many of their leaders tend to teach them that such slights must be avenged, that existence as a minority is just a temporary misfortune, not a state to be lived with, and that the law of England is virtually no law at all. If that attitude continues, society is reduced to a conflict about who will swallow whom alive. To avoid that is a huge and urgent task.
fathers' day tomorrow :-(
just now, after shabbat services, someone behind me wished someone in front of me a happy fathers' day (or is it father's day?) and my stomach dropped like i missed a step.
on 8th july it will be two years since ahf died.
this is the last known picture of my father - speaking at the leo baeck college ordination on the sunday. that afternoon was the final of the european championships, and we spoke a little before he handed the phone over to my mother and went to watch the game on television. a while later he picked up the extension to say, "the greeks have scored!" and a while later than that he picked up again to announce with glee, "the greeks have won!"
those were the last words i heard him say. and they were about football. he died on the wednesday.
i have this photo on the wall of my office. he never could keep his tallit on straight. neither can i :-)
on 8th july it will be two years since ahf died.
this is the last known picture of my father - speaking at the leo baeck college ordination on the sunday. that afternoon was the final of the european championships, and we spoke a little before he handed the phone over to my mother and went to watch the game on television. a while later he picked up the extension to say, "the greeks have scored!" and a while later than that he picked up again to announce with glee, "the greeks have won!"
those were the last words i heard him say. and they were about football. he died on the wednesday.
i have this photo on the wall of my office. he never could keep his tallit on straight. neither can i :-)
loadsa piglet
what would an incredible event like the quarter project be like without a piglet picture to commemorate it?!
here he is, getting ready to help spread the coins on the floor.
here he is, getting ready to help spread the coins on the floor.
40,000 quarters
about 9 months ago, our amazing temple educator got our religious school kids, and the ones at her other temple, involved with an organisation called the i.n.n.
we had learned that there are 40,000 hungry people in nassau/suffolk counties. we wanted to see what 40,000 looked like (we'd seen the movie 'paperclips') and lauren decided we would collect 40,000 quarters, lay them all out on the floor at the synagogue, and then give the $10,000 to the i.n.n.
yesterday we completed this particular project. this picture is of the quarters spead out on the carpet. at first we placed them very carefully edge to edge. as time went on, we ended up pouring the rest on the floor and spreading them out as flatly as we could! as you may notice in this picture!
we had learned that there are 40,000 hungry people in nassau/suffolk counties. we wanted to see what 40,000 looked like (we'd seen the movie 'paperclips') and lauren decided we would collect 40,000 quarters, lay them all out on the floor at the synagogue, and then give the $10,000 to the i.n.n.
yesterday we completed this particular project. this picture is of the quarters spead out on the carpet. at first we placed them very carefully edge to edge. as time went on, we ended up pouring the rest on the floor and spreading them out as flatly as we could! as you may notice in this picture!
Friday, June 16, 2006
crouch playing for qpr!
here he is in the hoops.
come on you rrrrr's!
o yes, and congratulations to england. it wasn't pretty but they've made it to the next round.
come on you rrrrr's!
o yes, and congratulations to england. it wasn't pretty but they've made it to the next round.
a former qpr man has scored in the world cup finals
doesn't he look excited? did i mention he used to play for qpr?
a cross from beckham ...
... and crouch rises at the far post to power the ball past shaka hislop in the t&t goal. did i mention that crouch really started out at qpr? we picked him up on a free from spurs i think, but he started to look good when playing in the hoops. sold him when we were relegated from the premiership
world cup photo day
this is a picture of peter crouch missing an open goal against trinidad & tobago in the group phase this afternoon. i said at the time that he'd better score a goal otherwise he will be slated for misses like this.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
so rude!
today's telegraph has an article about how rude young people are these days.
it begins in an amusing way:
"Young people have always been rude, far ruder than anybody else. It goes back at least as far as Jane Austen. Remember how, in Emma, Frank Churchill left all the doors open, exposing poor fragile Mr Woodhouse to a draught? Even the Queen, aged 19, knocked off a policeman's helmet on VE Day, so she once told the writer Hammond Innes."
ever since i moved to the usa, there have been many times when i felt people were being rude. i usually put it down to cultural differences. i am not talking about those awful moments when i realise i am thinking just like a granny i am thinking in my day one knocked before entering a room and stood up to greet people and offered one's seat on public transport and let older people through first and cetera. i mean i was taught to do that, although i do not remember any kind of lessons - it was just understood that there were certain ways to behave and one should always be polite.
the thing that makes me angriest with regard to rudeness is probably call waiting. i am talking to someone. someone else wants to talk to me. they beep my conversation. the idea is (although i usually ignore call waiting unless it is a critical situation at work like an impending death and then i explain that to the person with whom i am actually speaking) that i now have to choose which person gets priority. even considering leaving the present conversation is rude. weighing up the relative merits of the 2 people is rude. rude rude rude!
o dear, i appear to be slipping into a rant. hopefully back to the point - what does the english newspaper article have to say?
"Many middle-class parents appear to believe that ''manners'' are some kind of appalling spiritual restriction on their darling child's individuality. How dreadful that little Ben or Zoe should have to take a polite interest in Aunt Marge's adored collection of house plants. In many households a separatist regime is operated where the children either eat in another room or appear at the table only intermittently during meals. They don't talk to adults, they don't ask or answer questions, they have no small-talk, they don't learn anything; they are stuck in the narrow perimeters of their own interests and experience."
ah yes, blame the parents!
at this point, the religionist in me does start to wonder ... gosh this is hard to figure out how to say ... i am thinking about how a sense of one's place in the universe affects the way one lives ones life. i may not be able to get my head around how infinitely minuscule i am in the larger picture. i do, however, need to know that i am not the centre of the universe. and i also need to understand the effect my behaviour has on the here and now.
so where am i with this at the moment?
however bourgeois i am, i still find it hard to abandon the motto "from each according to their ability, to each according to their need". for me this is the ideal. how on earth to get there is a whole other problem. that is what comes to my mind at first. next, i hear the great rabbi hillel saying, " what is hateful to you, do not do to others", and he continues, "that is the whole torah - the rest is commentary. now go and study it!"
you don't have to love everyone. how can you love EVERYONE? but you do have to treat them with respect.
as a jew, i may look to the writings of my bible and its commentaries for help in developing my abilities to create healthy relationships during my life. i do not believe there are pat answers in these texts, but rather they encourage me to engage in the process of finding meaning, and thus help me take the first step of being active in my own development. o dear - am i making any sense?
for some reason, it always takes more energy to be pleasant rather than mean.
whether it is torah or other sacred scriptures, or philosophies, or disciplines; i believe that we need some kind of structure or path or whatever you wish to call it.
we need to develop the strength to not be mean.
or rude.
unless you like the world the way it is right now?
it begins in an amusing way:
"Young people have always been rude, far ruder than anybody else. It goes back at least as far as Jane Austen. Remember how, in Emma, Frank Churchill left all the doors open, exposing poor fragile Mr Woodhouse to a draught? Even the Queen, aged 19, knocked off a policeman's helmet on VE Day, so she once told the writer Hammond Innes."
ever since i moved to the usa, there have been many times when i felt people were being rude. i usually put it down to cultural differences. i am not talking about those awful moments when i realise i am thinking just like a granny i am thinking in my day one knocked before entering a room and stood up to greet people and offered one's seat on public transport and let older people through first and cetera. i mean i was taught to do that, although i do not remember any kind of lessons - it was just understood that there were certain ways to behave and one should always be polite.
the thing that makes me angriest with regard to rudeness is probably call waiting. i am talking to someone. someone else wants to talk to me. they beep my conversation. the idea is (although i usually ignore call waiting unless it is a critical situation at work like an impending death and then i explain that to the person with whom i am actually speaking) that i now have to choose which person gets priority. even considering leaving the present conversation is rude. weighing up the relative merits of the 2 people is rude. rude rude rude!
o dear, i appear to be slipping into a rant. hopefully back to the point - what does the english newspaper article have to say?
"Many middle-class parents appear to believe that ''manners'' are some kind of appalling spiritual restriction on their darling child's individuality. How dreadful that little Ben or Zoe should have to take a polite interest in Aunt Marge's adored collection of house plants. In many households a separatist regime is operated where the children either eat in another room or appear at the table only intermittently during meals. They don't talk to adults, they don't ask or answer questions, they have no small-talk, they don't learn anything; they are stuck in the narrow perimeters of their own interests and experience."
ah yes, blame the parents!
at this point, the religionist in me does start to wonder ... gosh this is hard to figure out how to say ... i am thinking about how a sense of one's place in the universe affects the way one lives ones life. i may not be able to get my head around how infinitely minuscule i am in the larger picture. i do, however, need to know that i am not the centre of the universe. and i also need to understand the effect my behaviour has on the here and now.
so where am i with this at the moment?
however bourgeois i am, i still find it hard to abandon the motto "from each according to their ability, to each according to their need". for me this is the ideal. how on earth to get there is a whole other problem. that is what comes to my mind at first. next, i hear the great rabbi hillel saying, " what is hateful to you, do not do to others", and he continues, "that is the whole torah - the rest is commentary. now go and study it!"
you don't have to love everyone. how can you love EVERYONE? but you do have to treat them with respect.
as a jew, i may look to the writings of my bible and its commentaries for help in developing my abilities to create healthy relationships during my life. i do not believe there are pat answers in these texts, but rather they encourage me to engage in the process of finding meaning, and thus help me take the first step of being active in my own development. o dear - am i making any sense?
for some reason, it always takes more energy to be pleasant rather than mean.
whether it is torah or other sacred scriptures, or philosophies, or disciplines; i believe that we need some kind of structure or path or whatever you wish to call it.
we need to develop the strength to not be mean.
or rude.
unless you like the world the way it is right now?
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
dam piglet
just realised that there have been no piglet pix posted since january. a schande! this one was an accident, as i had no idea that i was going to go over the hoover dam until i got there, and crossed into another state and another time zone. this is the view looking back, as we sat in a very long and slow line of traffic. plus ca change.
welcome to teaneck
saw this on treppenwitz today and wanted to blog it so here it is. is it real?!
btw - 'parnassa' = hebrew for making a living
btw - 'parnassa' = hebrew for making a living
and you shall love
in the book of deuteronomy, chapter 6, verse 5, the torah says:
"v'ahavta et adonai elohecha
and you shall love adonai your god"
in our liturgy, these words follow the shema, and continue with a description of practical ways to work on one's relationship with adonai. i have been thinking about this verse quite a lot recently, especially the first word.
when i work with bar & batmitzvah students, it is important to me that we discuss the meaning of the prayers as well as perfect the reading of them. of course they don't have to agree with or believe in anything i or the prayerbook say. i do, however, insist that we talk about the whys and why nots. a parrot could read the prayers. i do not want my students to be parrots.
nu - i ask my student: "what does it mean - and you shall love?" they usually answer very properly: "you're supposed to love god." or something like that. "so *do* you love god?" "well, er, yeah, i dunno, i suppose, whatever ..." etc.
here's the thing ... when i think about love in my life - the people i love and who love me - it doesn't just happen overnight. when i was born, all i knew was waaaah hungry waaaaah wet waaaaah poohy waaaaah tired. i had to learn about trust and caring and kindness; and whence they came. as i got older i had to learn how to be trustworthy and kind myself. in any relationship we may have an initial attraction/connection, but what makes it healthy and lasting is working on it and developing it. why should it be any different with god or the divine or whatever your name is for the energy that i choose to refer to as god?
so i talk with the kids about their parents and how their relationship has developed over the last few years. and then i ask - why should it be any different with god? i say that in my experience many people assume that "v'ahavta - you shall love" is a command ordering you to do this. but love can't be commanded. respect may be commanded, but not love. so what might this word mean?
when you look at the hebrew (apologies to my dikdook klassi teacher yossi that i no longer remember the correct grammatical phrases) the verb 'to love' is the second person singular past tense, but the vav in front of it turns it into a future tense. what's the big deal? you *shall* love, i.e, in the future, i.e., as the relationship develops. it is the beginning of a process, and the rest of the passage lists a number of practical actions one may do to that end.
when the students realise that, rather than being a demand to do something that currently makes no sense to them, this is actually a suggestion that may guide them to find some meaning in their religious tradition, they think it's pretty cool. i do too.
"v'ahavta et adonai elohecha
and you shall love adonai your god"
in our liturgy, these words follow the shema, and continue with a description of practical ways to work on one's relationship with adonai. i have been thinking about this verse quite a lot recently, especially the first word.
when i work with bar & batmitzvah students, it is important to me that we discuss the meaning of the prayers as well as perfect the reading of them. of course they don't have to agree with or believe in anything i or the prayerbook say. i do, however, insist that we talk about the whys and why nots. a parrot could read the prayers. i do not want my students to be parrots.
nu - i ask my student: "what does it mean - and you shall love?" they usually answer very properly: "you're supposed to love god." or something like that. "so *do* you love god?" "well, er, yeah, i dunno, i suppose, whatever ..." etc.
here's the thing ... when i think about love in my life - the people i love and who love me - it doesn't just happen overnight. when i was born, all i knew was waaaah hungry waaaaah wet waaaaah poohy waaaaah tired. i had to learn about trust and caring and kindness; and whence they came. as i got older i had to learn how to be trustworthy and kind myself. in any relationship we may have an initial attraction/connection, but what makes it healthy and lasting is working on it and developing it. why should it be any different with god or the divine or whatever your name is for the energy that i choose to refer to as god?
so i talk with the kids about their parents and how their relationship has developed over the last few years. and then i ask - why should it be any different with god? i say that in my experience many people assume that "v'ahavta - you shall love" is a command ordering you to do this. but love can't be commanded. respect may be commanded, but not love. so what might this word mean?
when you look at the hebrew (apologies to my dikdook klassi teacher yossi that i no longer remember the correct grammatical phrases) the verb 'to love' is the second person singular past tense, but the vav in front of it turns it into a future tense. what's the big deal? you *shall* love, i.e, in the future, i.e., as the relationship develops. it is the beginning of a process, and the rest of the passage lists a number of practical actions one may do to that end.
when the students realise that, rather than being a demand to do something that currently makes no sense to them, this is actually a suggestion that may guide them to find some meaning in their religious tradition, they think it's pretty cool. i do too.
Sunday, June 11, 2006
random memory
this photo was an accident ... was working for syndication international yet paying for my own film so - wanting to save - i would take out a half-finished film if i needed to change films and mark how many frames were used, and then put it back in at another time. messed up this one, and ended up with arlo guthrie with faint joan baez over his heart!
unfortunately, since that time joan baez is no longer anywhere near my own heart. she had a hissy fit that evening. i was so excited to be able to shoot her concert, having grown up with her as an icon set before me. so i went out to the centre aisle for my 2 song allowance. i knelt down so i was not in anyone's line of vision. i had no flash attachment. all of a sudden she stops playing in the middle of a song. she points at me and says, in front of several hundred people, "you! put that f***ing camera away!!" i looked behind me, because i assumed it was someone without permission. she continued to yell at me: "i won't play anymore if you don't get rid of that ******* camera!" then the punters in the seats started yelling at me ... "yeah, put it away! we paid for these seats!" etc. so away i went.
this was at what used to be the hammersmith odeon, and i had given up going to qpr for this gig. luckily, i made the second half, so the evening was not a total waste.
anyway, this is why i am no longer fond of ms. baez.
unfortunately, since that time joan baez is no longer anywhere near my own heart. she had a hissy fit that evening. i was so excited to be able to shoot her concert, having grown up with her as an icon set before me. so i went out to the centre aisle for my 2 song allowance. i knelt down so i was not in anyone's line of vision. i had no flash attachment. all of a sudden she stops playing in the middle of a song. she points at me and says, in front of several hundred people, "you! put that f***ing camera away!!" i looked behind me, because i assumed it was someone without permission. she continued to yell at me: "i won't play anymore if you don't get rid of that ******* camera!" then the punters in the seats started yelling at me ... "yeah, put it away! we paid for these seats!" etc. so away i went.
this was at what used to be the hammersmith odeon, and i had given up going to qpr for this gig. luckily, i made the second half, so the evening was not a total waste.
anyway, this is why i am no longer fond of ms. baez.
Saturday, June 10, 2006
the telephone game
don't i just love it when a fundamentalist xian starts quoting the bible to me in english. if i can get away with it in a gentle way, i will ask the person if s/he speaks hebrew. if so - great! usually, though, it is not so. thus the question becomes - the most original version that exists is in hebrew, which was translated into greek, and the greek into latin, and the latin into english. how can you take all the english words literally? imagine the game of telephone (broken telephone?). in england it is called 'chinese whispers'. sit in a circle and whisper something to your neighbour. each passes the message on to the next neighbour. the final person in the circle repeats the message out loud - it is rarely the same as the original.
a new york daily yesterday had a front page with the photo of the dead zarqawi and a speech bubble coming out of his dead mouth saying 'warm up the virgins". via the dry bones blog, i came across the following: here please read about the rewards the quran says that martyrs will receive. a quote:
"The Koran is beautifully written, but often obscure. One reason is that the Arabic language was born as a written language with the Koran, and there's growing evidence that many of the words were Syriac or Aramaic.
For example, the Koran says martyrs going to heaven will get hur, and the word was taken by early commentators to mean "virgins," hence those 72 consorts. But in Aramaic, hur meant "white" and was commonly used to mean "white grapes."
Some martyrs arriving in paradise may regard a bunch of grapes as a letdown. But the scholar who pioneered this pathbreaking research, using the pseudonym Christoph Luxenberg for security reasons, noted in an e-mail interview that grapes made more sense in context because the Koran compares them to crystal and pearls, and because contemporary accounts have paradise abounding with fruit, especially white grapes."
this leads me to vaguely recall a piece in the satirical publication 'the onion' i think it was about a suicide bomber waking up in heaven surrounded by thomas jefferson and james madison and 70 other virginians.
a new york daily yesterday had a front page with the photo of the dead zarqawi and a speech bubble coming out of his dead mouth saying 'warm up the virgins". via the dry bones blog, i came across the following: here please read about the rewards the quran says that martyrs will receive. a quote:
"The Koran is beautifully written, but often obscure. One reason is that the Arabic language was born as a written language with the Koran, and there's growing evidence that many of the words were Syriac or Aramaic.
For example, the Koran says martyrs going to heaven will get hur, and the word was taken by early commentators to mean "virgins," hence those 72 consorts. But in Aramaic, hur meant "white" and was commonly used to mean "white grapes."
Some martyrs arriving in paradise may regard a bunch of grapes as a letdown. But the scholar who pioneered this pathbreaking research, using the pseudonym Christoph Luxenberg for security reasons, noted in an e-mail interview that grapes made more sense in context because the Koran compares them to crystal and pearls, and because contemporary accounts have paradise abounding with fruit, especially white grapes."
this leads me to vaguely recall a piece in the satirical publication 'the onion' i think it was about a suicide bomber waking up in heaven surrounded by thomas jefferson and james madison and 70 other virginians.
mad at the bbc
was so excited during the england vs hungary commentary on five live to hear they would be broadcasting all of the world cup matches.
today though UK ONLY grumble mutter
have you ever followed a sporting event by reading text online?
the only one that i find bearable is cricket - firstly because the game is slow enough that the writer can describe it well and i can follow it well - secondly because, sometimes at least, the style of the writer makes it entertaining to read. i like the guys on cricinfo.
someone asked me the other day for whom i am rooting. i had not thought about it since it seemed obvious that i want england to do well. but i am an american, and the u.s. are actually ranked higher than england in the world rankings. so, i answered my young congregant with a convoluted babbling that i think said that i'd like the usa to do well also and that brazil is probably the best team and that holland have always been my favourite european team and in the end it is only qpr so since peter crouch used to play for us i have to follow england and the last first team game theo walcott played before making the england team was against qpr and the #3 for jamaica in the warm-up game against england has just signed for qpr and you see how this is going ... ?
half-time. england lead paraguay 1-0. time to get some breakfast.
today though UK ONLY grumble mutter
have you ever followed a sporting event by reading text online?
the only one that i find bearable is cricket - firstly because the game is slow enough that the writer can describe it well and i can follow it well - secondly because, sometimes at least, the style of the writer makes it entertaining to read. i like the guys on cricinfo.
someone asked me the other day for whom i am rooting. i had not thought about it since it seemed obvious that i want england to do well. but i am an american, and the u.s. are actually ranked higher than england in the world rankings. so, i answered my young congregant with a convoluted babbling that i think said that i'd like the usa to do well also and that brazil is probably the best team and that holland have always been my favourite european team and in the end it is only qpr so since peter crouch used to play for us i have to follow england and the last first team game theo walcott played before making the england team was against qpr and the #3 for jamaica in the warm-up game against england has just signed for qpr and you see how this is going ... ?
half-time. england lead paraguay 1-0. time to get some breakfast.
the war on terror
do go read riverbend (click on the baghdad burning link to the right). she does not post that often, but it's a good opp to hear from an ordinary person living in the middle of it all. here is a snippet responding to the recent u.s. "success":
"So now that Zarqawi is dead, and because according to Bush and our Iraqi puppets he was behind so much of Iraq's misery- things should get better, right? The car bombs should lessen, the ethnic cleansing will come to a halt, military strikes and sieges will die down… That's what we were promised, wasn't it? That sounds good to me. Now- who do they have to kill to stop the Ministry of Interior death squads, and trigger-happy foreign troops?"
"So now that Zarqawi is dead, and because according to Bush and our Iraqi puppets he was behind so much of Iraq's misery- things should get better, right? The car bombs should lessen, the ethnic cleansing will come to a halt, military strikes and sieges will die down… That's what we were promised, wasn't it? That sounds good to me. Now- who do they have to kill to stop the Ministry of Interior death squads, and trigger-happy foreign troops?"
Sunday, May 28, 2006
minorities in iran update
do click on the melanie phillips blog or here for an update regarding the story that jews in iran are going to have to wear yellow signs on their clothing. the current perception is that this was an inaccurate report.
nu - what would YOU do?
did you see the story this week about the death of the everest climber?
a british mountaineer named david sharp collapsed along a well-travelled route to the summit. they think that about 40 people walked right past him. a couple stopped to check on him, and said that he was about to die and there was nothing that they could have done. one group gave him some oxygen.
so there you are, climbing the mountain. conditions are very difficult for you, with the lack of oxygen up there, and all the dangers inherent in such an expedition. you see someone by the side of the road. they are clearly in trouble.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
the article i read on yahoo noted the following:
a. sir edmund hillary (who with sherpa tensing was officially to first to make it to the top of this mountain in 1953) said it was "horrifying" that a climber would leave a dying man.
b. lydia bradley, who in 1988 became the first woman to reach the top of this mountain without extra oxygen, said that "if you're going to go to everest ... i think you have to accept responsibility that you may end up doing something that's not very ethically nice ... you have to realise that you're in a different world"
c. apparently, trips up the mountain have become so commercialised, and climbers pay tens of thousands of dollars for their trip of a lifetime, so that the guides are under extreme pressure to get their clients to the top.
finally, a guy from the team that stopped to share some of their oxygen said "the trouble is that at 8500 metres it is extremely difficult to keep yourself alive, let alone keep anyone else alive".
so, nu, what would you do?
my instinct is to say my god of course i would stop. at the same time, i have not been in that position, so it would probably be more accurate for me to say that i hope that i would stop.
next i turn to the texts of my tradition. two stand out immediately:
there is the concept of pikuach nefesh - that saving of life is an obligation that over-rules commandments connected to the sabbath and other festivals. and thus, all the more so when it is an ordinary day!
however, the talmud does state that if it is a choice between one's self and another, it is permissible to choose yourself.
secondly, there is the teaching from the talmud that to save one life is as if you have saved the world, and to destroy one life is as if you have destroyed the world. i believe the wording is almost exactly the same when you read this teaching from the qur'an.
falling asleep ... will continue later ...
a british mountaineer named david sharp collapsed along a well-travelled route to the summit. they think that about 40 people walked right past him. a couple stopped to check on him, and said that he was about to die and there was nothing that they could have done. one group gave him some oxygen.
so there you are, climbing the mountain. conditions are very difficult for you, with the lack of oxygen up there, and all the dangers inherent in such an expedition. you see someone by the side of the road. they are clearly in trouble.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
the article i read on yahoo noted the following:
a. sir edmund hillary (who with sherpa tensing was officially to first to make it to the top of this mountain in 1953) said it was "horrifying" that a climber would leave a dying man.
b. lydia bradley, who in 1988 became the first woman to reach the top of this mountain without extra oxygen, said that "if you're going to go to everest ... i think you have to accept responsibility that you may end up doing something that's not very ethically nice ... you have to realise that you're in a different world"
c. apparently, trips up the mountain have become so commercialised, and climbers pay tens of thousands of dollars for their trip of a lifetime, so that the guides are under extreme pressure to get their clients to the top.
finally, a guy from the team that stopped to share some of their oxygen said "the trouble is that at 8500 metres it is extremely difficult to keep yourself alive, let alone keep anyone else alive".
so, nu, what would you do?
my instinct is to say my god of course i would stop. at the same time, i have not been in that position, so it would probably be more accurate for me to say that i hope that i would stop.
next i turn to the texts of my tradition. two stand out immediately:
there is the concept of pikuach nefesh - that saving of life is an obligation that over-rules commandments connected to the sabbath and other festivals. and thus, all the more so when it is an ordinary day!
however, the talmud does state that if it is a choice between one's self and another, it is permissible to choose yourself.
secondly, there is the teaching from the talmud that to save one life is as if you have saved the world, and to destroy one life is as if you have destroyed the world. i believe the wording is almost exactly the same when you read this teaching from the qur'an.
falling asleep ... will continue later ...
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
a day off
there is so much to consider, so many plates to keep spinning ... some to let go and new ones to start up.
85 years ago or thereabouts my grandmother and her sister got all dressed up and had photos taken. mutti is the one in the cutaway coat. what fun!
need more fun. what do you do for fun?
85 years ago or thereabouts my grandmother and her sister got all dressed up and had photos taken. mutti is the one in the cutaway coat. what fun!
need more fun. what do you do for fun?
Saturday, May 20, 2006
last will & testament
yesterday, my mother e-mailed me a text she had just found, a text from 42 years ago. it was a will my father had written, when we lived in nyc, and i was a few months old. my mother thought it might give me strength to read it. perhaps it will for you as well ...
"In the event of my death, I name my wife to be sole heir to my estate. I know that I can rely on her judgement in regard to my family. She, and all my family, will also know that my prayers and my love abide with them. If the inheritance is small in worldly goods. I yet hope that the testimony of my life affirms the greatness of human existence created in the image of God. I have found each day rewarding, and have not met anyone in whom I could not discern the touch of God. This affirmation of the goodness of man and God is part of the heritage I leave my loved ones."
"In the event of my death, I name my wife to be sole heir to my estate. I know that I can rely on her judgement in regard to my family. She, and all my family, will also know that my prayers and my love abide with them. If the inheritance is small in worldly goods. I yet hope that the testimony of my life affirms the greatness of human existence created in the image of God. I have found each day rewarding, and have not met anyone in whom I could not discern the touch of God. This affirmation of the goodness of man and God is part of the heritage I leave my loved ones."
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
impossible question
a friend taking a melton class told me they just did the unit on why do people suffer. since it was a judaism class, it centred mostly on the torah interpretation, i.e., punishment for non-compliance with commandments, human minds not able to encompass the bigger picture.
knee-jerk response ... i think it splits into 2 areas - the suffering humans cause directly and indirectly, e.g., lack of care and concern for each other in our daily relationships, plus a similar lack for the consequences of our actions. and then there is that suffering that we cannot explain, e.g., natural disasters, and incurable diseases.
i see religion as a system developed and organised by humans to help engender ethical behaviour and to give explanations and meanings to our lives. i believe that it needs a contemporary context - to connect with the teachings in our scripture (for me - using the torah as my example) it helps to make them relevant to the current community. my liberal jewish way of doing this is to try and extract the essence of the text, and apply it to today.
NEVERTHELESS this is all human beings working with their human minds and hearts in their human experience. i hope i do the best i can. i also believe and feel that i must accept there are things beyond my ken that make no sense to me and do not feel fair.
so what do i do with that?
i can blame god. i can say that a god who lets these things happen is not a very good god. i can damn religion and refuse to take part in it.
i can be angry. i can be angry with god. and the world. and myself. and people. i can be sad. i can be miserable. i can be depressed. i can be cynical.
interestingly enough, however, all these things are all about me. ME. that does not mean that i am not stricken on behalf of someone i love who is going through chemo, or sick at the news from darfur. i am not a bad person.
the thing is - maybe i need to switch the focus. instead of feeling powerless - is there something i may do to make a difference?
the first choice is to try and fix the situation at hand. that may not be possible. i cannot cure my friend's cancer. i cannot stop wars and corruption on the other side of the world.
what then can i do? NUMBER ONE IS TO HAVE HOPE. it ain't over 'til it's over
number two is to do something. there is no quick fix for the ills of the world. it took a long time for us to mess it up like this, and it will take a long time to make it better. perhaps, if we were not so attached to the need to see the results of our actions, we would find it easier to act. yet we harvest and eat fruit planted by those who never enjoyed that fruit themselves. so why do we balk at following their example?
that's all very well and noble, you may say, but what about my sick friend? what about the evil and corruption in the world far and near?
my answer is that we do the best we can. we love and comfort and care for our dear ones. we live the values to which we aspire. we work to improve the world by speaking up for those values, by being active within the forces for change.
if you believe in a god or divine presence, then perhaps you may draw some of the strength you need from this faith. if you do not, then it is up to you. the point is, the power is in our own hands to do something. it is a cop-out to blame anything or anyone else. if you don't like it - do something about it! it may take baby steps at first, but if you don't start, you'll not get anywhere.
ps yanks 9 runs down tonight after one and a half innings and the radio guy saying this is embarrassing. guess what - they just won in the bottom of the 9th with 2 out. they didn't give up :-)
knee-jerk response ... i think it splits into 2 areas - the suffering humans cause directly and indirectly, e.g., lack of care and concern for each other in our daily relationships, plus a similar lack for the consequences of our actions. and then there is that suffering that we cannot explain, e.g., natural disasters, and incurable diseases.
i see religion as a system developed and organised by humans to help engender ethical behaviour and to give explanations and meanings to our lives. i believe that it needs a contemporary context - to connect with the teachings in our scripture (for me - using the torah as my example) it helps to make them relevant to the current community. my liberal jewish way of doing this is to try and extract the essence of the text, and apply it to today.
NEVERTHELESS this is all human beings working with their human minds and hearts in their human experience. i hope i do the best i can. i also believe and feel that i must accept there are things beyond my ken that make no sense to me and do not feel fair.
so what do i do with that?
i can blame god. i can say that a god who lets these things happen is not a very good god. i can damn religion and refuse to take part in it.
i can be angry. i can be angry with god. and the world. and myself. and people. i can be sad. i can be miserable. i can be depressed. i can be cynical.
interestingly enough, however, all these things are all about me. ME. that does not mean that i am not stricken on behalf of someone i love who is going through chemo, or sick at the news from darfur. i am not a bad person.
the thing is - maybe i need to switch the focus. instead of feeling powerless - is there something i may do to make a difference?
the first choice is to try and fix the situation at hand. that may not be possible. i cannot cure my friend's cancer. i cannot stop wars and corruption on the other side of the world.
what then can i do? NUMBER ONE IS TO HAVE HOPE. it ain't over 'til it's over
number two is to do something. there is no quick fix for the ills of the world. it took a long time for us to mess it up like this, and it will take a long time to make it better. perhaps, if we were not so attached to the need to see the results of our actions, we would find it easier to act. yet we harvest and eat fruit planted by those who never enjoyed that fruit themselves. so why do we balk at following their example?
that's all very well and noble, you may say, but what about my sick friend? what about the evil and corruption in the world far and near?
my answer is that we do the best we can. we love and comfort and care for our dear ones. we live the values to which we aspire. we work to improve the world by speaking up for those values, by being active within the forces for change.
if you believe in a god or divine presence, then perhaps you may draw some of the strength you need from this faith. if you do not, then it is up to you. the point is, the power is in our own hands to do something. it is a cop-out to blame anything or anyone else. if you don't like it - do something about it! it may take baby steps at first, but if you don't start, you'll not get anywhere.
ps yanks 9 runs down tonight after one and a half innings and the radio guy saying this is embarrassing. guess what - they just won in the bottom of the 9th with 2 out. they didn't give up :-)
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
home sick
small person across the table from me during barmitzvah lesson coughing and spluttering. later i ask his mother how he is and she tells me he's missed 2 days of school. 2 days later i start coughing and spluttering. i cancel my barmitzvah lessons because the parents don't want me coughing and spluttering across the table the week before the barmitzvah.
i'm at the part of being sick when i am no longer yoyoing between sleep and mildly dazed, but not yet strong enough to shower or screw the last difficult screws into the last ikea chair.
here is another lovely picture of albert. the painting is by r. b. kitaj. this photo is taken at the gallery where a number of kitajs were being exhibited. the painting was sold for 80,000 dollars or pounds (sorry, i have a sudafed memory today) and my father went over to the desk to ask who bought it. they would not tell him, and asked why he wanted to know. he said to them that if this person was willing to pay that much for a painting of him, he'd be happy to go over and stand in their house himself!
time for another boots sugar-free blackcurrant cough pastille ...
i'm at the part of being sick when i am no longer yoyoing between sleep and mildly dazed, but not yet strong enough to shower or screw the last difficult screws into the last ikea chair.
here is another lovely picture of albert. the painting is by r. b. kitaj. this photo is taken at the gallery where a number of kitajs were being exhibited. the painting was sold for 80,000 dollars or pounds (sorry, i have a sudafed memory today) and my father went over to the desk to ask who bought it. they would not tell him, and asked why he wanted to know. he said to them that if this person was willing to pay that much for a painting of him, he'd be happy to go over and stand in their house himself!
time for another boots sugar-free blackcurrant cough pastille ...
Thursday, May 11, 2006
more thoughts of ahf
another picture i love. i remember when my father returned from this conference, i asked him how he and the dalai lama addressed each other. i suggested that "dal" & "al" would be cute. ahf smiled gently and said that they never did use names, they just spoke together.
marcus aurelius
don't ask me why, but last time i was inside la guardia airport i decided that i would buy a paperback copy of the meditations of marcus aurelius. this is the quote that stands out so far:
"begin each day by telling yourself: Today I shall be meeting with interference, ingratitude, insolence, disloyalty, ill-will, and selfishness - all of them due to the offenders' ignorance of what is good or evil. But for my part I have long perceived the nature of good and its nobility, the nature of evil and its meanness, and also the nature of the culprit himself, who is my brother (not in the physical sense, but as a fellow-creature similarly endowed with reason and a share of the divine); therefore none of those things can injure me, for nobody can implicate me in what is degrading. Neither can I be angry with my brother or fall foul of him; for he and I were born to work together, like a man's two hands, feet, or eyelids, or like the upper and lower rows of his teeth. To obstruct each other is against Nature's law - and what is irritation or aversion but a form of obstruction?"
from book two in the new penguin books great ideas series
"begin each day by telling yourself: Today I shall be meeting with interference, ingratitude, insolence, disloyalty, ill-will, and selfishness - all of them due to the offenders' ignorance of what is good or evil. But for my part I have long perceived the nature of good and its nobility, the nature of evil and its meanness, and also the nature of the culprit himself, who is my brother (not in the physical sense, but as a fellow-creature similarly endowed with reason and a share of the divine); therefore none of those things can injure me, for nobody can implicate me in what is degrading. Neither can I be angry with my brother or fall foul of him; for he and I were born to work together, like a man's two hands, feet, or eyelids, or like the upper and lower rows of his teeth. To obstruct each other is against Nature's law - and what is irritation or aversion but a form of obstruction?"
from book two in the new penguin books great ideas series
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
keeping the plates spinning
when i was little, i used to watch a tv show called 'blue peter'. it had everything on it from collecting milk bottle tops in order to get a guide dog for the blind, to visiting ceylon with hrh princess anne on behalf of save the children fund. it showed you how to make a gift out of egg-cartons, paint and some tissue paper; and lit an advent crown each week before xmas. nice and english all that. i mention it because i remember seeing them present the world record attempt for the greatest number of plates that could be kept spinning simultaneously on a stick. the guy had to keep running around and touching up the ones that were slowing down, otherwise they would fall off and smash.
nu - in which order do you decide which plates to attend to?
work, and different issues within it?
personal health & fitness?
relationships near and far?
this week it has become clear to me (for this week at least) that the most important thing upon which i should concentrate is how to let nasty behaviour to me by others affect me like water off a duck's back (thank you labensons).
the problem is that, while my brain knows this, the reality gap between it and my feelings is wide.
w i d e
end of musing - have to get back to work
nu - in which order do you decide which plates to attend to?
work, and different issues within it?
personal health & fitness?
relationships near and far?
this week it has become clear to me (for this week at least) that the most important thing upon which i should concentrate is how to let nasty behaviour to me by others affect me like water off a duck's back (thank you labensons).
the problem is that, while my brain knows this, the reality gap between it and my feelings is wide.
w i d e
end of musing - have to get back to work
Sunday, May 07, 2006
a walk in the park
sorry lis, no pix of piglet in the e.r., but a moment of happiness upon which to float off to bed.
ahf & siblings in weimar berlin. life is good. and you know that when he reaches you, you will swing him up into the air, and there will be laughing and hugs.
i really do have to stop this now and go to bed!
ahf & siblings in weimar berlin. life is good. and you know that when he reaches you, you will swing him up into the air, and there will be laughing and hugs.
i really do have to stop this now and go to bed!
happiness is a warm puppy?
just got back from the temple dinner dance. all mothers who have been to countless bnei mitzvah parties are experts at the electric slide. rabbis don't usually get invited to those parts of the celebration so i am not much good at that dance. in my day, as we fogeys say, you either did this skip and kick thing like clare out of altered images who was in gregory's girl, or you pogoed. i can pogo. just not in heels. and not in a dress. and not at the temple dinner dance. and not to "tears of a clown".
so i am reading through tomorrow's english papers (i do like the idea that i am reading the news before it is the news, plus i get to do the polygon puzzle before my mother!), and find this article about happiness. the writer - frank furedi - does seem to have a political perspective, especially since he suggests that as a current "buzz word" of the time, the government is pushing the vague idea of happiness as a way of covering up its lack of ideas. he does not hold back:
"Back in the 1940s and '50s, the big idea was the Welfare State. Today it is the Happy State. Stalin, who called himself the "constructor of happiness" would approve. So would the Controller in Huxley's Brave New World, who believed that making people happy was the precondition for stable government"
stalin and orwell in consecutive comments?! although he doesn't seem to think the tories can do any better. so, ok, he is slamming the politicians. but there are a couple of paragraphs that got me thinking ...
"People have always pursued happiness. Policy makers have always hoped their initiatives would make people happy. But happiness was not seen as an end in itself. Teachers hoped that their students would be happy with their experience but did not set out to teach their pupils how to be happy. Those charged with moral education were devoted to explaining the difference between good and bad but not to instructing children how to feel."
happiness was not an end in itself. that's the thing. i have to think about that a lot, and now am just writing as it comes to mind ... there are ideas like the messianic age and nirvana and heaven ... the ultimate reward is absolute peace and wholeness ... but not absolute in this life. a difference between slavery and freedom is that a slave is told to do or do not; while a free person is told this is what is going on, and then left to decide what to do.
maybe furedi is just poking us with a stick. he says that:
"Today's turn towards the management of people's internal life is motivated by moral disorientation and political exhaustion. Unimaginative politicians who are unable to decide what needs to be done - or implement the appropriate policies - feel more comfortable with instructing the public how it should feel."
and that
"Discontent and ambition have driven humanity to confront and overcome the challenges they faced. That is why people like the Controller in Brave New World want us live on a diet of "feelies" and "scent organs". That is also why we should be suspicious of experts who seek to colonise our internal life"
the british senses of freedom and justice are bound to feel piqued by analogies with totalitarian states real and imagined.
i, however, want to hear more about this "moral disorientation" to which he refers. and who does he believe should be charged with moral education today?
i also need to think about how i would define happiness. i just punched the word into google and got 106,000,000 results. some of the titles on the first page:
finding happiness and self-actualisation
you are amazing - don't let anyone or anything take that away from you! @ committoyourself.com
70 day life makeover
a guide to having it all
be happy - create your ideal life
20 minute breakthrough - uncover miracle that melts mental roadblocks and live your dreams now
authentic happiness - using the new positive psychology
the rational basis of happiness
the happiness project
and from the definition given at answers.com:
2. An agreeable feeling or condition of the soul arising from good fortune or propitious happening of any kind; the possession of those circumstances or that state of being which is attended with enjoyment; the state of being happy; contentment; joyful satisfaction; felicity; blessedness.
o dear, i am getting tired just as i am getting interested.
this kind of happiness seems to centre on the self, and have little connection to anyone or anything else except in how they affect this happiness.
is it healthy to have this feeling all the time?
is it an escape from the unpleasant things in the world?
today i was listening to the cd of the tertiary phase of hitch-hiker's guide to the galaxy. near the end, ford prefect tries to explain to arthur that the reason nobody can see slartibartfast's spaceship parked behind the sight-screen at lords cricket ground is due to a phenomenon called a "somebody else's problem". it works through the fact that people don't want to see things that force them out of the status quo, and so they actually do not see them. much easier than making a spaceship invisible.
anyway, thoughts of drugs and drink and nicotine and sugar and carbs all being used to numb ourselves to the painful things in life ... the good things are an antidote, i.e., to relieve or counteract; a remedy against - but they do not obliterate all traces.
a warm puppy would be lovely right now, though :-)
good night.
so i am reading through tomorrow's english papers (i do like the idea that i am reading the news before it is the news, plus i get to do the polygon puzzle before my mother!), and find this article about happiness. the writer - frank furedi - does seem to have a political perspective, especially since he suggests that as a current "buzz word" of the time, the government is pushing the vague idea of happiness as a way of covering up its lack of ideas. he does not hold back:
"Back in the 1940s and '50s, the big idea was the Welfare State. Today it is the Happy State. Stalin, who called himself the "constructor of happiness" would approve. So would the Controller in Huxley's Brave New World, who believed that making people happy was the precondition for stable government"
stalin and orwell in consecutive comments?! although he doesn't seem to think the tories can do any better. so, ok, he is slamming the politicians. but there are a couple of paragraphs that got me thinking ...
"People have always pursued happiness. Policy makers have always hoped their initiatives would make people happy. But happiness was not seen as an end in itself. Teachers hoped that their students would be happy with their experience but did not set out to teach their pupils how to be happy. Those charged with moral education were devoted to explaining the difference between good and bad but not to instructing children how to feel."
happiness was not an end in itself. that's the thing. i have to think about that a lot, and now am just writing as it comes to mind ... there are ideas like the messianic age and nirvana and heaven ... the ultimate reward is absolute peace and wholeness ... but not absolute in this life. a difference between slavery and freedom is that a slave is told to do or do not; while a free person is told this is what is going on, and then left to decide what to do.
maybe furedi is just poking us with a stick. he says that:
"Today's turn towards the management of people's internal life is motivated by moral disorientation and political exhaustion. Unimaginative politicians who are unable to decide what needs to be done - or implement the appropriate policies - feel more comfortable with instructing the public how it should feel."
and that
"Discontent and ambition have driven humanity to confront and overcome the challenges they faced. That is why people like the Controller in Brave New World want us live on a diet of "feelies" and "scent organs". That is also why we should be suspicious of experts who seek to colonise our internal life"
the british senses of freedom and justice are bound to feel piqued by analogies with totalitarian states real and imagined.
i, however, want to hear more about this "moral disorientation" to which he refers. and who does he believe should be charged with moral education today?
i also need to think about how i would define happiness. i just punched the word into google and got 106,000,000 results. some of the titles on the first page:
finding happiness and self-actualisation
you are amazing - don't let anyone or anything take that away from you! @ committoyourself.com
70 day life makeover
a guide to having it all
be happy - create your ideal life
20 minute breakthrough - uncover miracle that melts mental roadblocks and live your dreams now
authentic happiness - using the new positive psychology
the rational basis of happiness
the happiness project
and from the definition given at answers.com:
2. An agreeable feeling or condition of the soul arising from good fortune or propitious happening of any kind; the possession of those circumstances or that state of being which is attended with enjoyment; the state of being happy; contentment; joyful satisfaction; felicity; blessedness.
o dear, i am getting tired just as i am getting interested.
this kind of happiness seems to centre on the self, and have little connection to anyone or anything else except in how they affect this happiness.
is it healthy to have this feeling all the time?
is it an escape from the unpleasant things in the world?
today i was listening to the cd of the tertiary phase of hitch-hiker's guide to the galaxy. near the end, ford prefect tries to explain to arthur that the reason nobody can see slartibartfast's spaceship parked behind the sight-screen at lords cricket ground is due to a phenomenon called a "somebody else's problem". it works through the fact that people don't want to see things that force them out of the status quo, and so they actually do not see them. much easier than making a spaceship invisible.
anyway, thoughts of drugs and drink and nicotine and sugar and carbs all being used to numb ourselves to the painful things in life ... the good things are an antidote, i.e., to relieve or counteract; a remedy against - but they do not obliterate all traces.
a warm puppy would be lovely right now, though :-)
good night.
Saturday, May 06, 2006
bunny ears in petosky
the 10th of may would have been ahf's 79th birthday. i tried to send this picture to a number of friends, and many of them could not see it on their computers so i decided to put it up here.
this is my father and his mother. a person always with a book, and always with a sense of humour.
this is my father and his mother. a person always with a book, and always with a sense of humour.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
les miserables
don't think it is an apocryphal story ... heard it from my father z"l. years ago, after the lockerbie bombing (my father had a proselyte who died on that flight), americans stopped travelling to europe. tourism went waaaaay down. some time later, a group of american rabbis considered a trip to london. the organisers wanted to make an extremely attractive package, and asked what elements were necessary. word came to them that theatre tickets for the hottest show in town - a show called "lemmy's rabbi" - could do the trick. sadly, the organisers could find no such show on shaftesbury avenue ...
it's been an interesting week, in the chinese curse sense of the word. all the stress finally got to me, and instead of grouping in my back and immobilising me that way, it decided to try a new tactic, and raised my blood sugar until i got dehydrated and fainted! thus i spent the night on a gurney in a corridor at the e.r. no beds available. still, i got to meet eddie from dublin, and a perky young woman who announced that she was my p.c.a. (whatever that may be); and we (there were about 6 of us by the end of the night) got to hear the nurses trying to get info out of the juiced-up guys (what did you take? was it drink or drugs? did you take drugs? don't take your pants off!).
lesson to learn? how to deal better with stress. any suggestions?
p.s. qpr's season over, and ended badly with no wins in last eleven matches. now for the world cup, and already england have lost their best striker and the next best may not be fit by then. i think it will be another win for brazil. i never make predictions. i do feel, however, that they play the most beautiful football.
it's been an interesting week, in the chinese curse sense of the word. all the stress finally got to me, and instead of grouping in my back and immobilising me that way, it decided to try a new tactic, and raised my blood sugar until i got dehydrated and fainted! thus i spent the night on a gurney in a corridor at the e.r. no beds available. still, i got to meet eddie from dublin, and a perky young woman who announced that she was my p.c.a. (whatever that may be); and we (there were about 6 of us by the end of the night) got to hear the nurses trying to get info out of the juiced-up guys (what did you take? was it drink or drugs? did you take drugs? don't take your pants off!).
lesson to learn? how to deal better with stress. any suggestions?
p.s. qpr's season over, and ended badly with no wins in last eleven matches. now for the world cup, and already england have lost their best striker and the next best may not be fit by then. i think it will be another win for brazil. i never make predictions. i do feel, however, that they play the most beautiful football.
Friday, April 21, 2006
past and present celebrations
er, just found out that the post-prandial pesach puking is actually an official holiday of sorts called Maimouna. tried to type link but my html is a bit poorly and the link is so long it wouldn't fit. what can i tell you about it? hang on a sec - let me do a bit of cut-and-paste ...
"Maimouna: A Post-Passover Celebration
An exuberant Sephardic custom whose origins are the subject of debate
By Lesli Koppelman Ross
(on mylearning.com)
The Moroccan Jews are known for Maimouna, the exuberant festival held on the evening and day after Pesach, and whose origins are unclear. According to one explanation, it is the yahrzeit (anniversary of the death) of Maimon ben Joseph, the father of the great Jewish philosopher Maimonides (Rabbi Moses ben Maimon, also known by his acronym Rambam), a scholar in his own right who lived in Fez (Morocco) and wrote on Jewish-Islamic relations. He died around 1170.
Others say Maimouna is derived from the Arabic word for wealth and good fortune (literally "protected by God," ma'amoun). Since Pesach is the beginning of the new agricultural year, when the world is judged for produce, it is a time to pray for plentiful crops, symbolic of general prosperity.
Still others connect Maimouna with the word emunah ("belief"), claiming it celebrates belief in Israel's redemption. Along the same lines, there is also support (said to be traced to Maimonides' explanation) for the word being an Arabic adaptation of the phrase Ani ma'amin (I believe), the classic expression of faith in the coming of the messiah (ana for ani, placed after the verb ma'amin, as is common in Arabic, yielding ma'amin ana, which becames maimouna in the local Judeo dialect). It may have been a greeting exchanged to bolster one another's disappointment that Passover had come and gone without the long-anticipated return to Jerusalem.
Dining tables were decorated with flowers, wheat stalks, and sometimes live fish in bowls (this time symbolizing birth and fertility). Golden rings were hidden in a bowl containing flour, suggesting hoped for wealth or blessings. A dairy meal of buttermilk, sweets, and special pancakes called muflita served with honey was accompanied by singing, dancing, and visiting with friends.
The Libyans made a challah-likeround loaf with a hard-boiled egg secured in the center with strips of dough. Single men and women received blessings that they would be married in the year ahead. Women wore their fanciest clothes, girls donned white, and children dressed in costumes like the Berbers (native North Africans) and Arabs who shared their celebration and provided flowers, milk, butter, honey, wheat, and other produce for the Jews."
i'm pretty sure we have sefardi roots ... those german ancestors that went east from spain in the fifteenth century. of course we cannot trace anyone back before 1815 ...
ah well - that was today (or yesterday really). now for tomorrow (or today). the queen has her actual 80th birthday. read some lovely tributes in the telegraph and the times. and - don't tell - i sent her a congratulatory e-mail via her web-site. got sent to a page which told me that she had told her web-site people to thank me on her behalf ;-) . hey - i may have been born in the usa, but my mother was born in england, so at least half of me can wish the queen well!
"Maimouna: A Post-Passover Celebration
An exuberant Sephardic custom whose origins are the subject of debate
By Lesli Koppelman Ross
(on mylearning.com)
The Moroccan Jews are known for Maimouna, the exuberant festival held on the evening and day after Pesach, and whose origins are unclear. According to one explanation, it is the yahrzeit (anniversary of the death) of Maimon ben Joseph, the father of the great Jewish philosopher Maimonides (Rabbi Moses ben Maimon, also known by his acronym Rambam), a scholar in his own right who lived in Fez (Morocco) and wrote on Jewish-Islamic relations. He died around 1170.
Others say Maimouna is derived from the Arabic word for wealth and good fortune (literally "protected by God," ma'amoun). Since Pesach is the beginning of the new agricultural year, when the world is judged for produce, it is a time to pray for plentiful crops, symbolic of general prosperity.
Still others connect Maimouna with the word emunah ("belief"), claiming it celebrates belief in Israel's redemption. Along the same lines, there is also support (said to be traced to Maimonides' explanation) for the word being an Arabic adaptation of the phrase Ani ma'amin (I believe), the classic expression of faith in the coming of the messiah (ana for ani, placed after the verb ma'amin, as is common in Arabic, yielding ma'amin ana, which becames maimouna in the local Judeo dialect). It may have been a greeting exchanged to bolster one another's disappointment that Passover had come and gone without the long-anticipated return to Jerusalem.
Dining tables were decorated with flowers, wheat stalks, and sometimes live fish in bowls (this time symbolizing birth and fertility). Golden rings were hidden in a bowl containing flour, suggesting hoped for wealth or blessings. A dairy meal of buttermilk, sweets, and special pancakes called muflita served with honey was accompanied by singing, dancing, and visiting with friends.
The Libyans made a challah-likeround loaf with a hard-boiled egg secured in the center with strips of dough. Single men and women received blessings that they would be married in the year ahead. Women wore their fanciest clothes, girls donned white, and children dressed in costumes like the Berbers (native North Africans) and Arabs who shared their celebration and provided flowers, milk, butter, honey, wheat, and other produce for the Jews."
i'm pretty sure we have sefardi roots ... those german ancestors that went east from spain in the fifteenth century. of course we cannot trace anyone back before 1815 ...
ah well - that was today (or yesterday really). now for tomorrow (or today). the queen has her actual 80th birthday. read some lovely tributes in the telegraph and the times. and - don't tell - i sent her a congratulatory e-mail via her web-site. got sent to a page which told me that she had told her web-site people to thank me on her behalf ;-) . hey - i may have been born in the usa, but my mother was born in england, so at least half of me can wish the queen well!
no woman is an island!
for the first time i am part of (terribly briefly, but nevertheless part of) a dialogue on someone's blog. Sandra Scoppettone's Writing Thoughts: Writing Again i find writing so difficult. to find the words that fit is a painful process. to make the commitment of writing things down, and then let other people see them and judge them, is scary.
one of the reasons i enjoy blogging is that it is stream-of-consciousness thinking and feeling sent out into the abyss. according to the site meter, almost 300 people have passed through the page. there were maybe a couple of comments that were not spam, and even the spam was lean.
yesterday my mother said (yes, she is still here, but returning to england tomorrow :-( ) that she thought blogging was extremely self-indulgent. i jumped to its defence, noting the information i get from political blogs, and the connections i may make with other bloggers, and the democracy of cyberspace, and cetera. i also note the delete button for sad needy desperate people who spew forth their guts. judge not, etc.
anyway
greetings and felicitations to all, especially those who feel sick tonight because they overdosed on pizza and pasta and all things not matza at the final official end of passover. confidential to my greek orthodox friends - i hope the meat will be delicious on sunday after 40 days of herbivorousness, and also that you don't get sick from too much flesh too soon. happy easter!
one of the reasons i enjoy blogging is that it is stream-of-consciousness thinking and feeling sent out into the abyss. according to the site meter, almost 300 people have passed through the page. there were maybe a couple of comments that were not spam, and even the spam was lean.
yesterday my mother said (yes, she is still here, but returning to england tomorrow :-( ) that she thought blogging was extremely self-indulgent. i jumped to its defence, noting the information i get from political blogs, and the connections i may make with other bloggers, and the democracy of cyberspace, and cetera. i also note the delete button for sad needy desperate people who spew forth their guts. judge not, etc.
anyway
greetings and felicitations to all, especially those who feel sick tonight because they overdosed on pizza and pasta and all things not matza at the final official end of passover. confidential to my greek orthodox friends - i hope the meat will be delicious on sunday after 40 days of herbivorousness, and also that you don't get sick from too much flesh too soon. happy easter!
Monday, April 17, 2006
fibonacci fever?
just read an article in the ny times about these little fibonacci poems. said the mathematical sequence is well-known by middle schoolers and bela bartok. sadly, i never went to middle school.
this is the trendy site to see:
http://gottabook.blogspot.com/
the times describes the fibonacci sequence as follows:
"The number of syllables in each line must equal the sum of the syllables in the two previous lines. So, start with 0 and 1, add them together to get your next number, which is also 1, 2 comes next, then add 2 and 1 to get 3, and so on."
ps qpr didn't lose this weekend :-)
this is the trendy site to see:
http://gottabook.blogspot.com/
the times describes the fibonacci sequence as follows:
"The number of syllables in each line must equal the sum of the syllables in the two previous lines. So, start with 0 and 1, add them together to get your next number, which is also 1, 2 comes next, then add 2 and 1 to get 3, and so on."
ps qpr didn't lose this weekend :-)
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
mango mangle
tonight, for the very first time, all by myself, without parent or restaurant or supermarket help, i peeled and ate a mango.
what a mess!
juice dripping down my chin, and mango hair sticking in my teeth like badly-shucked corn as i tried to get the last edible bits off the stone ... i was most disappointed that my family did not have a culinary heritage that had within it a strong mango-peeling instinct. the mango was, however, delicious!
meanwhile, although the above was supposed to be the full sum of my current procrastination, i cannot go back to work just yet. this is my first pesach that i have hosted, and now i am beginning to understand. i am hard-boiling eggs as i type, and soon must return to my broom to sweep before i clean before the tables can be set up. i have my massively rude horseradish root, but still need to find silver dip and wash all the plates ... and wash the mango juice off my face and hands.
to all a zissen pesach and a very happy easter!
what a mess!
juice dripping down my chin, and mango hair sticking in my teeth like badly-shucked corn as i tried to get the last edible bits off the stone ... i was most disappointed that my family did not have a culinary heritage that had within it a strong mango-peeling instinct. the mango was, however, delicious!
meanwhile, although the above was supposed to be the full sum of my current procrastination, i cannot go back to work just yet. this is my first pesach that i have hosted, and now i am beginning to understand. i am hard-boiling eggs as i type, and soon must return to my broom to sweep before i clean before the tables can be set up. i have my massively rude horseradish root, but still need to find silver dip and wash all the plates ... and wash the mango juice off my face and hands.
to all a zissen pesach and a very happy easter!
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
waiting for the man to come and fix the door
yes, today is my day off, and i am waiting for the man to come and fix the garage door. i had planned to stay home today to do some vital cleaning in preparation for the visit of several family members for pesach. the problem is - now i am waiting for the man to come, i cannot begin any other projects. what if he rings the bell and i am standing there in my cleaning clothes in the middle of flexing my little broom? i should note that 'cleaning clothes' means something minimal and due for a wash - so i won't mind doing the dirty work. don't worry, though, for in my mind i am figuring out what other projects should be so that the moment the man leaves i can think about which one to do first :-)
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
welcome orlia simcha
for the first time in nearly 33 years our family has a new baby. she was born in berlin on saturday night, and everyone seems to be doing well.
my cousin steve was the one to point out the significance of being born in berlin, the city from which her grandfather z"l escaped just before the start of ww2.
my mother is convinced that one day they will all move to israel, but for now we are back in berlin. and i am an aunt! welcome to the world little baby - i hope i get to meet you someday soon.
my cousin steve was the one to point out the significance of being born in berlin, the city from which her grandfather z"l escaped just before the start of ww2.
my mother is convinced that one day they will all move to israel, but for now we are back in berlin. and i am an aunt! welcome to the world little baby - i hope i get to meet you someday soon.
Friday, March 17, 2006
tai shan debut
this picture is from a couple of months ago. nevertheless i post it now because i feel the need for some peace and serenity, and for some reason i find them when looking at and being with pandas.
breathe in. breathe out. smile.
breathe in. breathe out. smile.
Thursday, March 16, 2006
jonah's pk save
haven't had a pic for ages. i like treppenwitz's 'photo friday' ... maybe i should use the digicam i carry around?!
anyway, something that makes me happy - a superb moment from a queens park rangers player.
paul jones has been making quite a few blinding saves recently for the 'r's. thank you!
anyway, something that makes me happy - a superb moment from a queens park rangers player.
paul jones has been making quite a few blinding saves recently for the 'r's. thank you!
supermarket strategy
north america is full of supermarkets the size of aircraft hangers (although they seem small when compared to a wal-mart). once or twice a month, i am compelled to enter such edifices. this is because when i open the door of my fridge, i see only a couple of jam-jars containing one last cracker-sized smear, some old bottles of salad-dressing, 4 triangles of vache qui rie lite and many cans of the tropicana sugar-free lemonade that causes volcanic eruptions in my guts. o yes, and a kodak waterproof instant camera with the sell-by date of some time in 1996.
i'm not very good at supermarket shopping. i'm not really any good at any kind of shopping. i can, however, with great patience, be trained. i have learned not to enter the aisles that have chocolate in them. i have learned not to enter the supermarket that has maltesers and hob nobs in it. the greatest tool i have been given with regard to success in supermarket shopping is "the list". it is a strange idea - write down what you run out of as you go along, and take the list with you so you can get what you need. sadly, i don't usually do that, which is why last night i unpacked and found i had bought 7 tomatoes, 3 little squirty lemon juice bottles, diet fudgsicles (2 extra for free), party size hummus for garlic lovers, 6 packets of multigrain pita, bananas and a tube of preparation h. o, and a people magazine, strictly for my mother of course :-) . meanwhile, i asked the checkout person why when they ask 'paper or plastic?' and you say 'paper', they put the paper bag in the plastic bag? she said that they have to do it cos the paper bags don't have any handles.
i'm not very good at supermarket shopping. i'm not really any good at any kind of shopping. i can, however, with great patience, be trained. i have learned not to enter the aisles that have chocolate in them. i have learned not to enter the supermarket that has maltesers and hob nobs in it. the greatest tool i have been given with regard to success in supermarket shopping is "the list". it is a strange idea - write down what you run out of as you go along, and take the list with you so you can get what you need. sadly, i don't usually do that, which is why last night i unpacked and found i had bought 7 tomatoes, 3 little squirty lemon juice bottles, diet fudgsicles (2 extra for free), party size hummus for garlic lovers, 6 packets of multigrain pita, bananas and a tube of preparation h. o, and a people magazine, strictly for my mother of course :-) . meanwhile, i asked the checkout person why when they ask 'paper or plastic?' and you say 'paper', they put the paper bag in the plastic bag? she said that they have to do it cos the paper bags don't have any handles.
Thursday, March 09, 2006
bits 'n' bobs
was having so much fun checking out the bobs, i forgot what the bits were ... hang on a sec ... er ... o yes indeed, here are a couple:
was really sad to hear about the death of kirby puckett - just a couple of years older than i am and died of a stroke. he was a hall of fame baseball player, and the kind of player i really admire: he didn't have the most athletic build, but he made the most of what he had. he stayed with one team for his whole career. most of all, he always looked like he loved what he did. especially after the current round of european champions cup footie (you go barca! three cheers for ronaldinho!!!), and seeing all the talented mercenaries who are brilliant at what they do, but seem to lack the connection to the joy they might feel and the privilege of having fans to support them ... well i feel the loss of a sporting hero like kirby particularly deeply.
went back for a week on phase one of the south beach diet. yet again, the first day i returned to phase two i had unbelievably intense indigestion. must remember that however much i love bananas, they are not the best way for me to start phase twos :-( good news is that i think i have now lost over 30 lbs aka 2 stone & a bit
hurrah family is coming for seder ... aaaaargh my first ever seder in my own home and i shall have to cook. wonder if the valentine's day menu can be revisited?! my mother did say she would take care of the matza balls though. as with everyone, MY MOTHER MAKES THE BEST MATZA BALLS EVER! they are so good that when my sister and i became vegetarians, we would not give up these delicacies, even though they were cooked in chicken soup! instead, n. said that the soup was like bathwater - the chicken sat in it for a while, and then got out/was helped out. thus she felt able to eat them. i, on the other hand, said that was rubbish. my great rationalisation was to take the matza balls out of the soup and rinse the bathwater off them under the tap before i could eat them!
now for the bobs ... i put bob into google and here are the random entries of interest i found on the first page:
bob dylan ... say no more
the 'bob the builder' website would not load (can you fix it? :-) )
a very weird cartoon called bob the angry flower
cannot choose between the bob geldof and the bob marley sites to link to so please look them up yourself
finally, bob vila's tips on chain saws
was really sad to hear about the death of kirby puckett - just a couple of years older than i am and died of a stroke. he was a hall of fame baseball player, and the kind of player i really admire: he didn't have the most athletic build, but he made the most of what he had. he stayed with one team for his whole career. most of all, he always looked like he loved what he did. especially after the current round of european champions cup footie (you go barca! three cheers for ronaldinho!!!), and seeing all the talented mercenaries who are brilliant at what they do, but seem to lack the connection to the joy they might feel and the privilege of having fans to support them ... well i feel the loss of a sporting hero like kirby particularly deeply.
went back for a week on phase one of the south beach diet. yet again, the first day i returned to phase two i had unbelievably intense indigestion. must remember that however much i love bananas, they are not the best way for me to start phase twos :-( good news is that i think i have now lost over 30 lbs aka 2 stone & a bit
hurrah family is coming for seder ... aaaaargh my first ever seder in my own home and i shall have to cook. wonder if the valentine's day menu can be revisited?! my mother did say she would take care of the matza balls though. as with everyone, MY MOTHER MAKES THE BEST MATZA BALLS EVER! they are so good that when my sister and i became vegetarians, we would not give up these delicacies, even though they were cooked in chicken soup! instead, n. said that the soup was like bathwater - the chicken sat in it for a while, and then got out/was helped out. thus she felt able to eat them. i, on the other hand, said that was rubbish. my great rationalisation was to take the matza balls out of the soup and rinse the bathwater off them under the tap before i could eat them!
now for the bobs ... i put bob into google and here are the random entries of interest i found on the first page:
bob dylan ... say no more
the 'bob the builder' website would not load (can you fix it? :-) )
a very weird cartoon called bob the angry flower
cannot choose between the bob geldof and the bob marley sites to link to so please look them up yourself
finally, bob vila's tips on chain saws
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
emerson lishma
luckily for my job, the voiceless part of the stinking cold i have was during my day off. tomorrow, i can make use of the ample supply of tissues in my office as the catarrh comes to the fore. meanwhile, in between feeling a bit sorry for myself, mainly because my throat was too sore to enjoy singing marlene dietrich songs deeply and badly, i decided to read a book.
d. has noted that since we met, i have read an awful lot of childrens' books. ok i did reread all the harry potters again but that was because the paperbacks were next to her bed. and i discovered the 'lionboy' books, and 'inkheart'; and reread the philip pullman trilogy. today, however, for some strange reason, probably all the advil, i picked up a collection of emerson's essays and decided to read 'self reliance'. apparently i read some of this at university, but have no recollection of that whatsoever. o well. i couldn't sleep and this is what i read.
"to believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men, - that is genius."
&
"trust thyself ... accept the place the divine providence has found for you, the society of your contemporaries, the connection of events."
at this point, i had to remind myself what transcendentalism was.
ok - so emerson was living in an era and an area where the forging of a truly american literary and philosophical identity was a contemporary cause. o dear i'm starting to sound a bit victorian. i guess what i am trying to say is that i can identify with his call to rebel against the status quo:
"society is a jointstock company, in which the members agree, for the better securing of his bread to each shareholder, to surrender the liberty and culture of the eater. the virtue in most request is conformity. self-reliance is its aversion. it loves not realities and creators, but names and customs ...
...whoso would be a man must be a non-conformist. he who would gather immortal palms must not be hindered by the name of goodness, but must explore if it be goodness. nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind."
wouldn't it be luverly to have the time and resources to speak out. enough money to be able to say no without fear, someone to clean and cook and wash for you, and someone to hold you and say 'there, there, m'love, they are all horrid and you are wonderful.'
nevertheless, despite his style coming across to me today as a pompous git, i rather like him so far. more, perhaps, when i have read more. time now to search through the medicine box and see if i still have any english sudafed ...
d. has noted that since we met, i have read an awful lot of childrens' books. ok i did reread all the harry potters again but that was because the paperbacks were next to her bed. and i discovered the 'lionboy' books, and 'inkheart'; and reread the philip pullman trilogy. today, however, for some strange reason, probably all the advil, i picked up a collection of emerson's essays and decided to read 'self reliance'. apparently i read some of this at university, but have no recollection of that whatsoever. o well. i couldn't sleep and this is what i read.
"to believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men, - that is genius."
&
"trust thyself ... accept the place the divine providence has found for you, the society of your contemporaries, the connection of events."
at this point, i had to remind myself what transcendentalism was.
ok - so emerson was living in an era and an area where the forging of a truly american literary and philosophical identity was a contemporary cause. o dear i'm starting to sound a bit victorian. i guess what i am trying to say is that i can identify with his call to rebel against the status quo:
"society is a jointstock company, in which the members agree, for the better securing of his bread to each shareholder, to surrender the liberty and culture of the eater. the virtue in most request is conformity. self-reliance is its aversion. it loves not realities and creators, but names and customs ...
...whoso would be a man must be a non-conformist. he who would gather immortal palms must not be hindered by the name of goodness, but must explore if it be goodness. nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind."
wouldn't it be luverly to have the time and resources to speak out. enough money to be able to say no without fear, someone to clean and cook and wash for you, and someone to hold you and say 'there, there, m'love, they are all horrid and you are wonderful.'
nevertheless, despite his style coming across to me today as a pompous git, i rather like him so far. more, perhaps, when i have read more. time now to search through the medicine box and see if i still have any english sudafed ...
Friday, February 17, 2006
wonder of wonders
... or perhaps miracle of miracles ... those of you who actually know me, well, you may need to sit down. last tuesday 14th february, i cooked dinner for d. i made courgette (zucchini) soup, salmon with a dill/cucumber sauce, and a special dessert concoction involving bananas, raspberries & baileys/cocoa sauce (the only part that was actually not ok for south beach diet phase one!). d. admitted to me that she was really surprised. it also tasted really good. yes, i cooked dinner. not the same as making dinner - have done that for years - pasta in boiling water & sauce from jars ... pre-mixed salad from plastic bags with fat-free dressing from squeezy plastic bottles ... opening of tins and peeling off of plastic wrappers. when making dinner, there's nothing that i peeled or sliced or mixed or chopped or tasted as i went along to make sure it was coming along ok. i cooked. and we ate at the dining table, with a cloth and with napkin rings; with nice wine-glasses and candles burning.
enough already. it was a success. the problem is, of course, now that i have proven i can do it if i choose to ... i may have to do it again :-)
enough already. it was a success. the problem is, of course, now that i have proven i can do it if i choose to ... i may have to do it again :-)
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