On the one hand, the nation goes mental when Wayne R-ooney swears right into the camera after getting a hat-trick for his table-topping team to come back and win a football match. Broadsheets and tabloids alike discuss his motivation and his punishment.
Little mention today, however, for Wayne R-outledge, who after scoring twice in his table-topping team's win last night, also turned to the camera and:
blew the world a kiss!
Being nice doesn't make news.