Thursday, September 14, 2006

listmania!

o you are so lucky. i was just about to start another of my "what books do you have in your bathroom list?" when i saw this! 50 ways to irritate everyone!!

here are my 5 favourites:

i. "Being welcomed to places one has no wish to be in and thanked for things one has no wish to do. "Welcome to the Grottville Multi-Storey Car Park"; "Thank you for paying the Congestion Charge.""

ii. "Restaurant staff who now seem almost entirely recruited from Planet Youguy ("Are you guys ready to order some dessert?")"

iii. "Checking the overnight e-mails to find only 10 identical messages from "Demetrius Fitzcarraldo" offering to cure erectile dysfunction."

iv. "''Celebrity" chefs who invent perversely inedible dishes such as snail trifle and haddock-flavoured ice cream – and then charge gullible customers an additional fortune for having their plates dotted with spots of foam."

v. "Colourless, unexpressive, witless contemporary slang – "bling", "chav", "minger", "a bit rubbish" – disgracing a language that inspired the vernacular of Shakespeare and Dickens"

No comments:

Post a Comment