Tuesday, September 09, 2008

fowl humour

don't ask me why i did it. here are some recent answers to the eternal question: why did the chicken cross the road?

Howard Cosell : It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an Herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo- sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurrence.

Machiavelli : So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.

Albert Camus: It doesn't matter; the chicken's actions have no meaning except to him.

Darth Vader : Because it could not resist the power of the Dark Side.

Mark Twain : The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

Dr Johnson: Sir, had you known the Chicken for as long as I have, you would not so readily enquire, but feel rather the Need to resist such a public Display of your own lamentable and incorrigible Ignorance.

H. P. Lovecraft:
To escape the eldritch, chthonic, rugose, polypous, indescribably horrible abomination not from our space-time continuum.

and the two female versions i have so far discovered (if you count the sphinx as being a female sphinx):

Emily Dickinson : Because it could not stop for death.

The Sphinx : You tell me.

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