Saturday, May 12, 2007

paris hilton wtf

under the headline 'too pretty for prison', yahoo news reports on ms hilton's desperate attempt to stay out of jail:

"Well, as we all know by now, last week the judge threw the book at part-time pop star Paris Hilton (it was probably the closest Paris had ever gotten to a book, come to think of it) and sentenced her to 45 days in jail for driving twice with a suspended license. Paris's first defense was to blame her long-suffering minion/publicist, Elliot Mintz, claiming he mistakenly told her it was just fine for her to get behind the wheel. (This led poor Elliot to experience a brief moment of self-respect/clarity and temporarily break free from his client's acrylic-taloned clutches, when he announced he was quitting her employ...but lo and behold, he was back on Paris's payroll a mere day later.) So anyhoo, when the judge refused to let Elliot take the fall, the harebrained heiress changed her strategy...and asked her fans to sign a petition urging California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to pardon her because she provides "beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives" and is "notable for her leading roles on the Fox reality series The Simple Life and in the remake of the Vincent Price horror classic House Of Wax." Wow, what an airtight defense--if Johnny Cochran were alive to see such democracy at work, he'd surely approve. No word yet on whether Arnie will pay this petition any heed (a rebuttal petition, demanding that Paris serve her time, is also floating around somewhere on the Interweb), but hey, if Paris ends up in the slammer--and Nicole Richie gets sentenced for her own recent moving violation--then presto! Fox has the perfect premise for The Simple Life 6. And you know, if there are any ladies who could go on television wearing prison stripes and still look svelte, it's those two..."

speechless with disgust ...

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